Relaunch!

Hallo! It has been quiet some time, no? Well, the silence coming from my little corner of the Web is done. This is my official relaunch of my blog! While my silence has been due, in part, to laziness; I have also been writing a lot, and thinking even more.


What do I want PatientC to be? I want it to be a tool for making the world a better place - even if it is just a tiny bit, a teaspoon at a time. I want to talk about what is on my mind freely, without fear. I have spent no small amount of time looking at the history of social justice bloggers that have been bullied out of the Internet and talking with my family about the possibility of that sort of thing coming to our door.


I have decided that I will post about whatever is on my mind. So not every post is going to be about disability or related things or maybe even social justice. 

• I may talk about gaming, especially video games. 
• Hell, I have a stack of energy drink reviews - I could justify those as being a defense mechanism against both my internal fatigue and the fatigue produced by a couple of my medications. But I also simply like them, and like trying new ones. 
• When my hands can manage it, I knit, so that may come up. This is an election year, so you can bet that I am going to talk about that. 
• I may post consolidations of the days action items for you to participate in or not as you choose. 
• Other social justice stuff will definitely come up. So you can expect posts on sexism, sexual orientation, race, class/poverty...
• I am studying Buddhism, so expect that to be a subject that comes up with some regularity.

The truth of the matter is that I am a human being, along with being a woman, being disabled, being bisexual, dealing with poverty* issues, or any number of things. So a lot of things come up in my life and in my addled brain, and I may share any of them with you at any time.


If you see a story, issue, or item of some sort, and you think I might be able to write about it in a worthwhile way, let me know.


I will be expanding my efforts to include more regular writing, some videos, and expanding my concept of what I can do and share with you.






*I am a poor person lucky enough to live as a middle class person. It is complicated.

Things That Make My Life Easier: Gold Violin

So, I stumbled across the web site Gold Violin recently. Once I got past the fact that most of the pictures for their living aid devices involve old white people, I found a lot of useful stuff.

As with all reviews, unless otherwise stated I bought the items in review myself. As a guard against being unduly biases – I will always let you know if I receive an item at a discount or free to review!

Agenda Pill Box – This is on sale for $8 from $40 – I think part of that is that the calendar inside is old. That did not bother me, I do not need another calendar, and I bought a small flat notebook to slide into that section in case I do need to write something down while I am taking my pills and do not have anything else near by. Here is the description from their site:” Closed, it looks like a handsome appointment book.  Opened, it's both your calendar and 7-day pill organizer.  Each daily compartment holds up to 4 doses, keeps your medication secure and slides open easily when it's time to take your pills. 8 x 5 1/2 x 1 1/2.”

I really like this pill carrier. Now I only have to organize my pill dosages once a week instead of every day. I can remember to add the over the counter stuff I need to take daily with ease. The daily containers have four slots, and my only gripe is that in order to make sure the top does not slide off – the opening is restricted to three compartments on one side, and one on the other. This means that I have to open, close and open each one in the process of filling them. Okay, and I wish I could have gotten it in black.

My Meds Ledger: “My Meds Ledger keeps prescription information organized and at hand in case of an emergency, with room for up to 12 medicines. Both fold to the size of a credit card. Magnetic closure. 3¼”Wx2¼”H.” They also make a Login Lockers, with the same format – for keeping track of web sites with log-ins and passwords. Normally $5, as of my writing it is $4 on sale.

I like this item, but care should be taken when storing magnets in your wallet or purse. As with all small record keeping items it may be tough to record your information legibly, but that goes with the territory.

Up next are the Walking Stick Accessories - Corded Wrist Strap.I bought two of these, gold for my clear Lucite cane and black for my black fold up cane. These are also available in red. They are damn useful for when you need your cane hand for getting into your wallet or whatever. I wish they were just a tad longer, though, for when you need to slide it a little further up your wrist, or get it off your wrist faster. After a while, the elastic wrap around the cord stretches out a bit, but for now, mine is still okay. About $7.

I bought two types of sunscreen:  Sun Protection in Spray-on and Insect-Repelling Styles. “Waterproof Topcoat covers the areas most exposed and most often ignore - your scalp. Non-greasy, protein-rich formula is SPF 20+. Sunscreen with Insect Repellent Lotion combines SPF 25 with all natural insect repellent. Safe and effective, it’s enriched with soothing aloe and Vitamin E. Both formulas withstand salt water, swimming pools and sweat up to 80 minutes.” Regular price was $10.00, as of writing these are now sold for $5.99.

I bought both of these, and am very pleased with them. They do not wear or sweat off quickly. Now, you hair looks a little greasy where you use the scalp spray – but that is a hell of a lot better than the painful red peeling you would get with a bare scalp. The bug repellant is effective and the scent is not as people-repellant as most insect sprays/wipes can be. It also seemed to be well-tolerated by my DEET allergic friend.

For my husband, I bought Foot Crème: Heel Rescue. “Thick, luxurious cream penetrates, moisturizes and repairs dry, cracked skin, leaving your heels feeling soft, smooth and revitalized. Contains CoEnzyme Q10 that boosts the body’s natural ability to renew itself. Non-greasy formula. 16 oz. jar with pump dispenser.” The regular price is $9.95; the sale price is $5.99.

I bought the Heel Rescue for my husband, and he appears to be very happy with it. He suffers from bad feet, and has for years – but they seem to be getting better now: more smooth, less calloused, more appealing. I have used it on occasion, it seems to do a decent job.

Delivery was quick, e-mails kept me on top of the status of my orders with little effort on my part. One negative thing is that the web site is not always user friendly. A solid example is this: the site allows you to build a wish list, but finding it later is not intuitive. In general, my experience with Gold Violin has been very positive. I have placed other orders since my first one and remain well pleased.

SmartAss Politics, I Have Them: Fathood

As I was writing about my politics as one piece, I noticed that it grew pretty big very quickly. I am breaking it down into parts, which will hopefully be less irritating, and allow me to explore each piece a little more coherently. I started writing about the politics of fathood a while ago, in response to someone being Wrong on the Internet. The timing of that incident has long past, but my views are still the same. So, come, and share them with me!

Wall of Text version: I am a big liberal, you may want to get used to it. I hold the lofty belief that the world would be a better place if we could all be the people we want to be (without causing harm to another, or hindering their ability to do the same), as determined by our own ideals. I also believe that a representative government has a duty to make sure that we all have the opportunity – an equal opportunity – to do so. While I am talking about my beliefs, I want to include that government should maintain a social safety net for those neglected, ignored, and/or abused by that society.

I believe in the use of the word “fat” as a value-neutral term.That is easy for me to say because I am not considered fat. I have been fat - or at least reacted to in a manner that suggested the other person thought I was fat. I have considered myself fat (hello there, body image issues, how have you been?). I have never been called fat by anyone since I left my parents home. As an adult, I have weighted from 105 to 175 pounds at different points in my life. I am personally uncomfortable using the term fat because I do not believe that the use of it as a value-neutral term is wide-spread enough for me to assume that it is being heard in a value-neutral way. Do you find yourself asking WTF is this “value-neutral?!?”  I say this: fat is a descriptor, like brunette, tall, or tan; rather than a judgment indicating lazy, gluttonous, jolly, etc… And while that is what I mean when I say “fat” I shy away from using the term at all for fear it read as a judgment even though such is not my intent.

Here is an interesting article: New York Time: Body Mass Index Can Be Misleading.

I believe that the BMI can tell you that you are obese, and yet your cholesterol, blood pressure, and heart health may indeed be fine. I mean that you can be heavy and healthy at the same time. I know for a fact that your BMI can be “ideal” and you can be an internal mess – that is where I find myself lately. So my “The BMI does not indicate health” stance does go both ways. Any meaningful use of the BMI must take into consideration the origins and original purpose of it, along with its inherent flaws.

I know I am going to fuck up being a good ally on occasion. I hope it is a rare one. Not only is it the right thing to do, but this issue challenges a lot of people that I care about deeply.

Now, articles agitate folks every so often, and I do not want to get into that one way or the other but I am glad that the discussions happen. I lay clam to being fat accepting, but there are people you should be reading if you want to really get to know what that means.  The Fat Nutritionist is a good start.

First, Do No Harm is a place where people can go to talk about fat-phobia they are subject to from medical professionals. I have seen this in action. I have watched my husband’s knee and back concerns blown off by tying them to his weight (he had bulging disks, and a torn meniscus/missing cartilage in a knee).

Now, of course there are intersections between disability and size-acceptance, and s.e. smith talks about that really well here.I love s.e. smith, as you all will probably figure out sooner or later.


I am sure this topic will come up again in the future, but this looks like a good start.

Do you have a Health at Every Size or fat acceptance link or story? Share it below!

SmartAss Recommended Reading (Part Two)

Hello, again, Gentle Reader. When writing Recommended Reading, I realized that the post had become far too long and unwieldy for one entry. So I broke it off midstream and decided to make it a series of posts – which will also allow me to share sites as I find them.

All previous caveats about linkage stated in Part One still apply.

Ill Doctrine (hip hop only occasionally touches me, but) Jay Smooth is wonderful: candid, smart, and painfully genuine at times.

Tricycle – I am leaning towards Buddhism right now, but there is a large amount of work that is good general advice for living on Tricycle, no matter what your calling. And please, do not worry - while I may talk about my own learning or development, I would never push any religion on you, Dear Reader - just as I would not want one pushed on me.

While FWD/Feminists with Disabilities is no longer posting new content, there is a lot of good stuff to be found there, and I cannot recommend their archives highly enough.

The Border House and The Hathor Legacy make great geek reading, and there is always Geek Feminism. These are some of the smartest sites out there.

G4 has a lot of great stuff, particularly Sessler’s Soapbox and the MMO Report (although I do not play MMOs at the moment). I also enjoy their round-table show, Feedback. I will not recommend many truly commercial web sites, but these efforts are worth spending time on, in my opinion.

On the news front, here are the web pages for my favorite commentary shows: The Maddow Blog, and The Last Word. Of course, I occasionally check in at Mediaite for news gossip. And now we catch Countdown on CurrentTV. 

Leave your own great reads, or your own great writings in the comments section!

Quantum Sorcery: A little magic with your science?

Quantum Sorcery: A little magic with your science?:

"I realized that most of my posts have been little more than science news links thus far, so I shall now remedy this imbalance. Here is a m..."

This is a friends blog, but I love it none-the-less. If you are interested in quantum science, or quantum sorcery, go here. And buy his book. I helped with the early editing, so there is a little bit of me in there somewhere! Grin.

You know, I an going to build a post of friends that write great things, although few will be related to my topics of disability, health, attitudes, able-ism, and social justice. You have been warned!

Lupus Gimp, How Does Your Garden Grow

With gardening ProTips!

Whether it is in a small pot on a table, or in the section of yard I have claimed for my garden, the smell of freshly turned earth turns me on – not in a horny way, but in a “this is really real life” special kind of way. It helps me feel productive and connected.

I call it my garden because it is my idea, and I am the one that insists on having it. Everyone in the household sees the benefit of it. Everyone in the house contributes effort to it, either because they want to, because I ask them to, or because it increases their allowance. It really is our family garden.

I am not able to do a lot of the physical work of maintaining the garden. My men folk did most of the tilling (I could barely start the damn thing, let alone hold it while running). I did the actual planting, since I knew how to do it – and I would not be mad at anyone else if the planting went bad. The girls prepped the ground for and planted the marigolds around the outside of the garden fence.

Getting out in the garden is trouble to begin with, precautions have to be taken. Bug bites hang out for months on me, so bug spray. The sun is trying to kill me; so long sleeves, pants, gloves, and a hat are mandatory. Sunscreen is just as necessary. I have one of those fatigue-fighting floor mats to use to get down on the ground so I do not waste energy bending or squatting. I can cut this mat to fit rather than trying to squeeze myself onto one of those narrow knee pad panels. I try to do most of the work early in the morning or in the last light of the day to cut down on heat and humidity exposure.

The work has to be broken up into small, 15- 20 minute blocks, or I run myself into the ground far too early. I can only do a few of these before I either need a large break of a few hours, or I may just be done for the day, anyway. I can go for a bit longer if I know that no demands will be made on me later –either physical or mental, because the fatigue shuts down all systems.

Even when I remember to do all of the above – take these precautions and more, there is still a price to pay. For even two to three hours working, I will pay for it by being near useless for up to a week. It is unpredictable. I can influence the odds, but not the roll (I hope that analogy makes sense). I know I will be down a day or two, minimum. Down meaning down to minimum activity: hygiene, dressing, feeding myself, maybe some mindless web browsing. Trashed is also always a possibility: easy clothes if not sleeping clothes, easy food, moving only when I have to do so, asking other people to get things for me, doing nothing I may need to remember later or have any competency during. My right hand will always be near useless for 3-7 days.

Over the years, we have acquired, piece by piece, good tools. Good tools cut down on body wear and tear. Believe it or not, I used to break the garden ground with a shovel – I had the strength and enthusiasm, and we did not have a tiller. Now we have a tiller. Good gloves keep my hands from getting beat up too much too fast. Decent hand tools with soft grips have done wonders.

D has laid ground cloth this year, which is awesome. It removes about 80 % of the weeding I would otherwise need to figure out. Anyone can weed around the larger plants, but until they get big and obvious, I will need to weed around the romaine and spinach. I will also have to do the thinning. Both my guys are happy to water the garden for me.

We are growing tomatoes, squash (straight, crook-neck, and one spaghetti squash) and zucchini (same type of plant), one green pepper plant, spinach, a romaine lettuce blend, cucumbers, and some small onions. Marigolds are planted around the garden fence in order to improve the view and discourage pests. In pots we have strawberry plants, chives, mint (may have drown in the last rain), and oregano. I planted rhubarb and asparagus in the garden but I do not think they will make it (I should have researched first, instead of going on the package!). If they sprout I will need to transplant them to large pots until I find a good, permanent home.

In short:

• I love gardening.
• Fair division of labor according to knowledge and ability is essential.
• Taking care of myself means I get more done.
• Trust that once you delegate, problems will come to you – do not hover!
• Working smarter is so much better than working harder.
• Good tools mean less work, less wear and tear on the people doing the work.
• Yum!

Do you have any gardening tips? Leave them below!

Wheelchair Innovation by Teens in Plainfield

Every once in a while, I get to write about something cool and fun and human. This is one of those times. 

According to the articles listed below, Stephen Scholl is a senior at a local Plainfield, Indiana high school. He participates in a recycling program that has been wildly successful at his school. In an article about his Life Skills class and classmates – a fellow student saw a picture of Stephen and a need he could fill. Tim Balz and companions got together to build Stephen a powered chair to replace his manual one. This would make many aspects of Stephen’s life easier, including collecting recycling.

This effort has grown well beyond both teens and their friends and family. I found this story through a link sent to me by D, here at the IndyStar.The comments are surprisingly civil for the Indy Star (as of my reading of them), but one should probably exercise caution anyway. Besides the local paper of record, this also received coverage from at least one local news station, WTHR.
This is also a good article, although the comments are a little more problematic as some of the commenters are unfamiliar with “people first language” and poorly defend the author’s use of the phrase “wheelchair bound.”

This has grown into Wheelchairs for Special Needs. If you go to the linked Facebook page you can get caught up on their current and past efforts, and find out where you can help. From the comments at the IndyStar article: “I received an e-mail back from Josh Duke, the author of this story. He said that if anyone is interested in donating to Freedom Chairs, they can contact Tim Balz directly at wheelchairsforspecialneeds@gmail.com “

From the Facebook page: “Great News! It turns out that we are [allowed] to accept donations. The only issue is that we cannot give tax deductions at this point in time. We will soon set up a method for you to be able to donate!”

Enjoy your day!

MSNBC and NAFC: Ed Picks Up the MSNBC/Free Clinic Mantle

Connecting people with life saving health care should not be a political issue.

Ed Shultz made me very happy last night. Although he did not mention Keith Olbermann’s early involvement with MSNBC and FreeClinics.US, he did pick up the mantle last night. He announced a new fund raising drive for a free health clinic in New Orleans, organized by NAFC (the National Organization of Free Clinics). To be fair, Ed was actively involved while Olbermann was at the helm of the effort – I had simply feared it would be either forgotten, or deemed to inconveniently reference the ex-MSNBC host.

If you are not familiar with the work of National Association of Free Clinics, you should definitely check them out – if you can donate, have access to a venue, can volunteer or if you need services. They have added a new way to donate $10, just text HEALTH to 50555.

The announcement is a must watch, and the interview that follows both stresses the importance of the work of the National Association of Free Clinics and lets you know what you can do to help, or to get help. I was only a little surprised to hear talk about the suicides they prevented. Besides helping people with neurological and biochemical issues;  just getting someone the help they have lacked for a chronic condition, or putting them on the path to a diagnosis which can make a huge emotional and mental difference in a person’s life. Life is pretty bleak when you know something is wrong with you but you have nothing but your word to back that up. Things can spiral wildly, until the only power you may feel you have is to decide when and how to end it all.

NAFC does great work, and deserves support. People depend on their clinics. It is sometimes a literal life and death issue. Help them out if you can. Go to them for help if you need.

Ally Anxiety

So, Tuesday, I am did my usual thing… I listened to the Blacking It Up pod cast (and you should, too – it is amazing!). Apparently, bridges had been built over the weekend by Jack and Jill’s Cheryl Contee and Elon James White at RightOnline, because we had one of our first trolls. Ms. Contee’s and Mr. White’s adventure is documented here: “INCOGNEGRO:  UNDERCOVER AS A BLACK CONSERVATIVE AT RIGHT ONLINE DURING NETROOTS NATION PART 1." It is a must read! While I already read Jack and Jill Politics, I keep checking the site for the next part…

The pod cast was full of the anticipated and appreciated awesome. Then the troll showed up. What followed caused, for me, a severe case of ally anxiety.

During the pod cast, there is a chat window underneath where the listeners can chat amongst ourselves, respond to the show, ask questions, snark – whatever happens to be going on. Sometimes we wander way off topic, sometimes the show and the chat room work in beautiful harmony. When I started listening to @BlackingItUp and BCCO’s other shows, I just listened for a week or two, because I am a visitor, an ally – and I did not want to come on too strong, too fast, too pushy, too “white liberal on the internet.”

This day, a new person came into the chat. New people are fun and enthusiastically welcomed. This person was not fun. One by one, this person (I presumed he, there was the tell tale reek of mansplaining) started raising racial flags. Whites are racially oppressed, standardized testing is not racially biased, I am colorblind – why aren’t you, I should not get searched at the airport, racial minorities are racists because they complain about race relations, but everyone is racist like me. You know ‘em and hate ‘em: they are the classic tropes of the racist. He would raise one flag, wade into his rightly earned flak, wait for a few moments, and then raise another one. I would not be surprised to find that “oneshotoneki11” (my approximation) is at least a semi-pro troll.

Here is where the ally anxiety comes in: what do you do? I wanted to be out in front, and stomp this asshole into the ground; to stop the badness, to vent the frustration of not being able to confront so many people’s racism, and personally to show that I am not with him or his ilk. But I am working on being an ally; one of the first rules is DO NOT MAKE IT ABOUT YOU IF IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU. So I reeled myself in, spoke my peace once in a while but mostly either stayed out of the way while others let him have it, supported the excellent arguments being made against him and his toxic memetic stew, and expressed dismay that he would violate the hospitality offered him as a new guest.

I know that my case of ally anxiety was nothing, nothing compared to what the black listeners were going through while this was happening. I know that what was going on in my heart, my head, and my gut is miniscule in the grand scope of things. My feelings, my reactions – those are not a big deal to anyone but me. I write this to air it out, to solicit the opinions and experience of others, and to give anyone that wants it an insight into what went on in my head (or heads like mine?) during this. I was angry, I was sad, I was sick. We discovered that four (if I remember correctly) white members of the audience had stayed on this guy, which was also cool. I think that we, the audience, feel a little closer to one another, because of what this asshole brought out a united sense of solidarity in us.

Plucked popinjays like this troll make me ashamed of my skin. I wanted to apologize for his inanity, and I did – but that does not make any sense. No more sense than the bizarre “blaming” that minority groups sometimes face over one individual behaving badly. 

I found out that I was not obviously white, which is kind of neat.Often white racial justice allies are problematic in and of themselves. They refuse to recognize their own internal racism, how all the little assumptions, good, bad, and "neutral" add up to a racism that is insidious, because it can hide.

Racists often do not even know that they are racists, let alone doing evil. You cannot convince someone (though any means) to stop doing something they believe they are not doing in the first place. 

The top of the kyriarchy knows that their days are numbered and that their power is slipping – which, I think, is why they are always scrambling, always grabbing, and always further consolidating their power. With the election of a President that neither looks like them nor shares their history or values, they are now in a full on panic. “Take their country back,” indeed – just as the rest of us may start to think it may actually be our country, too.

Blog note: The various Pod Casts are archived and available on the Brooklyn Comedy Company’s web page. You can also find the shows on ITunes and YouTube – remember to take a moment to rate and comment, they deserve the love.

Shout out to the chat room – sorry about the trash.

SmartAss Recommended Reading (Part One)

When I was writing this post, I talked about some of the web sites I visit. I thought it would be good to share with you some more of the folks that I let into my brain pan whenever I have adequate ability to absorb information (sometimes solid, sometimes that ability can elude me). Here, in no particular order, are more works I enjoy, find edifying, or within find fellowship – you may want to seek them out too!

Warning: the below links contain rational thought and a penchant for social justice. You will be exposed to people of all genders, many races, and many schools of thought if you click on the below links.

Gratuitous warning for all SmartAss Recommended Reading: including a link below does not mean I endorse every piece on each web site. You know that, but I wanted to spell it out. I know that some blogs have done some questionable things – some have risen above, learned and grown; some, maybe not so much. That is what it means to be a whole person – to learn and grow and be better. But even then, I read the things that strike me as right-minded and take the few mistakes as object lessons.

Womanist Musings
Shakesville
Tiger Beatdown
This Ain’t Living
Red Vinyl Shoes
Yes Means Yes
Wheelchair Dancer
Flip Flopping Joy
Geek Feminism
The Angry Black Woman
Disability Voices

And of course, SexGenderBody, with a fantastic blogroll I am happy to join.

I enjoy a lot of reading, when my brain will let me.

Leave your own great reads or your own great writings in the comments section!