SmartAss ProTips: Your Med Backstory

I want to have some resources here for you to use if you want or need them. While writing a piece on Go Bags, I realized that I had not talked to you about putting together a basic medical summary. This is the first thing you want in a hospital/medical BugOut/BugIn bag, or any travel bag for that matter.

Nissi (a black pitt) and Lucky (a tawny Chiwowow) keeping the neighborhood safe by sniffing a suspicious tree.

We will get into what Go/BugOut/BugIn Bags are, why you may need one, and a guideline of things to consider when making one. But before that, and Go Bag or not, you should have a MedStory!

MedStory is my own term for a unofficial medical history. Anything written my you will be considered unofficial - remember, patient reporting is considered the least reliable source of information around by docs, etc - but that was before "fake news." 

Even if you are not doing the whole Go Bag thing, you should do this. Even if you are healthy, you should do this. Keep a copy in your bag, in your car... You know your life best, so keep it where you know it can easily be found in an emergency. Since this will be too big to fit in the typical wallet, a note near your ID that indicates where your history is stored could save your life or the life of someone else if you are a organ donor.

I am going to give you what I think would be useful, and you can use or change it as you see fit for you and your family. We are going to cover information personal, medical, and medicinal. If you have a suggestion to add, please comment below and we will all benefit!

When you write your medical summary, imagine the conversations you normally have with medical professionals, only this time they need to know and you are unconscious with no family or friends present. There is a lot of information to think about here. You do not need to let yourself be overwhelmed by it. Take each suggestion one at a time. 

Ideally, you will have a summary for each family member. Even if you are around for your spouse, kid, or parent experiencing medical distress, this stuff is stuff you want to just hand off and not worry about - you will have enough worries.

Start with the basics: your name, address, phone numbers should be at the top. Another very important piece of information is your emergency contacts: their names, addresses, phone numbers. Who is your next of kin? Who is authorized to receive and act on your medical information? Do you have Advanced Directives (also called DNR orders). Do you have a medical power of attorney? You should have a copy of that in here, along with a notation of the location of the original, should it be necessary. Are you an organ/blood/marrow donor or on a registery?

While the rest of your medical information is covered below, next you should list your allergies, whether you think they would be an issue or not. Example: an egg allergy could really mess you up if you are given certain vaccines. So list them all is my advice! Make a note of each allergy & severity. Iodine makes me itchy, but penicillin will kill me.

You also need to mention any conditions, illnesses, or whatnot. Some people will list psychological diagnosis, and they can be important, but others are not willing to disclose them without establishing, personally, that it is pertinent and that they feel safe doing so. Sometimes an illness can be figured out by the meds you take, but do you really want people guessing at that moment?

You also want the names, addresses, and phone numbers of any health care practitioners you are currently seeing or have seen recently (last couple of years). If you have seen a specialist, you will always get asked why you saw them, so list that too (example: saw a pediatric gastroenterologist for stomach pain that resolved on its own or a physical therapist for SI joint dysfunction that improved with a completed course of PT). 

Now you need to detail what you are normally putting into your body. List any over the counter (OTC) or prescription medications you take, no matter how innocuous it may seem to you. If you take ibuprofen for occasional headaches, they say so. Please keep in mind that many prescription medications are used for more than one application, so list the reason you are taking it. Also list any herbal or homeopathic intake. 

I want to say if you are taking anything illegal, you should put it here because sometimes your docs really do need to know, but you have to make that call for yourself. 

So that is a good start. I will update this article as experiences or conversations make me wiser. If you have a tip, let us know below! I am considering making a Google form or something, what do you think?

Lupus Gimp, How Does Your Garden Grow

With gardening ProTips!

Whether it is in a small pot on a table, or in the section of yard I have claimed for my garden, the smell of freshly turned earth turns me on – not in a horny way, but in a “this is really real life” special kind of way. It helps me feel productive and connected.

I call it my garden because it is my idea, and I am the one that insists on having it. Everyone in the household sees the benefit of it. Everyone in the house contributes effort to it, either because they want to, because I ask them to, or because it increases their allowance. It really is our family garden.

I am not able to do a lot of the physical work of maintaining the garden. My men folk did most of the tilling (I could barely start the damn thing, let alone hold it while running). I did the actual planting, since I knew how to do it – and I would not be mad at anyone else if the planting went bad. The girls prepped the ground for and planted the marigolds around the outside of the garden fence.

Getting out in the garden is trouble to begin with, precautions have to be taken. Bug bites hang out for months on me, so bug spray. The sun is trying to kill me; so long sleeves, pants, gloves, and a hat are mandatory. Sunscreen is just as necessary. I have one of those fatigue-fighting floor mats to use to get down on the ground so I do not waste energy bending or squatting. I can cut this mat to fit rather than trying to squeeze myself onto one of those narrow knee pad panels. I try to do most of the work early in the morning or in the last light of the day to cut down on heat and humidity exposure.

The work has to be broken up into small, 15- 20 minute blocks, or I run myself into the ground far too early. I can only do a few of these before I either need a large break of a few hours, or I may just be done for the day, anyway. I can go for a bit longer if I know that no demands will be made on me later –either physical or mental, because the fatigue shuts down all systems.

Even when I remember to do all of the above – take these precautions and more, there is still a price to pay. For even two to three hours working, I will pay for it by being near useless for up to a week. It is unpredictable. I can influence the odds, but not the roll (I hope that analogy makes sense). I know I will be down a day or two, minimum. Down meaning down to minimum activity: hygiene, dressing, feeding myself, maybe some mindless web browsing. Trashed is also always a possibility: easy clothes if not sleeping clothes, easy food, moving only when I have to do so, asking other people to get things for me, doing nothing I may need to remember later or have any competency during. My right hand will always be near useless for 3-7 days.

Over the years, we have acquired, piece by piece, good tools. Good tools cut down on body wear and tear. Believe it or not, I used to break the garden ground with a shovel – I had the strength and enthusiasm, and we did not have a tiller. Now we have a tiller. Good gloves keep my hands from getting beat up too much too fast. Decent hand tools with soft grips have done wonders.

D has laid ground cloth this year, which is awesome. It removes about 80 % of the weeding I would otherwise need to figure out. Anyone can weed around the larger plants, but until they get big and obvious, I will need to weed around the romaine and spinach. I will also have to do the thinning. Both my guys are happy to water the garden for me.

We are growing tomatoes, squash (straight, crook-neck, and one spaghetti squash) and zucchini (same type of plant), one green pepper plant, spinach, a romaine lettuce blend, cucumbers, and some small onions. Marigolds are planted around the garden fence in order to improve the view and discourage pests. In pots we have strawberry plants, chives, mint (may have drown in the last rain), and oregano. I planted rhubarb and asparagus in the garden but I do not think they will make it (I should have researched first, instead of going on the package!). If they sprout I will need to transplant them to large pots until I find a good, permanent home.

In short:

• I love gardening.
• Fair division of labor according to knowledge and ability is essential.
• Taking care of myself means I get more done.
• Trust that once you delegate, problems will come to you – do not hover!
• Working smarter is so much better than working harder.
• Good tools mean less work, less wear and tear on the people doing the work.
• Yum!

Do you have any gardening tips? Leave them below!

ProTips: Skimping Without Going Without

Times are hard all over (mostly, and if you are part of the USian 1% that is getting richer, you probably are not reading here). Everyone tries to save money. Here is some (sometimes hard earned) advice for skimping without going without. Feel free to add your tips in the comments!

If your income is desperately low, look for help. There are programs out there specifically designed to help you, including help with heat, electricity, prescription meds and health insurance. Do not be ashamed to make use of the tools available to you. This is their purpose! If you are doing okay, donate some money, resources, or effort to the same.

Now on to the tips. Your mileage may vary. Pick what works for you and disregard what does not – that is what this is for!

Never go cheap on feminine hygiene products. Never go cheap on diapers. Exception: advice from a trusted source. Not only do you spend more money when you have to go out and get the good stuff due to product failure, but you usually find out via embarrassment and ruined clothes and more expense.

Some generic products are differently packaged products from brand name production lines. Do your research and find where you are spending more for nothing.

Consider growing your own food when and where you can. Even though my garden cost a couple of hundred dollars to put together initially (including fencing – ouch!), we still saved almost $400 dollars in grocery bills that year. With the initial set-up out of the way, we save much more. Try to grow from seeds or the smaller starter plants – these get more expensive the more developed they are when sold. Consider potted plants or Topsy Turvy tomato planters for apartments.

Look into local garden/DIY collectives. Not only can you save time, money, and effort collaborating with nearby folks, but it is good to have connections with people that have the same concerns as you.

Make your own sex toys! Use your common sense, research and think - particularly with insertable toys. Floggers, clamps, paddles, a lot of these can be made on the cheap side, and you can make them exactly the way you want them. DO NOT MAKE YOUR OWN BIRTH CONTROL OR SKIMP ON BC. Read review sites like BDSMLab to make sure you are getting what you want for your dollar.

Trade favors with your family and neighbors. Some folks in our neighborhood trade garden goods. Others trade babysitting for lawn care. Find out what other folks need and if they can help with your needs. Make sure everyone feels treated fairly. It is better to agree that a deal cannot be made than to make a bad connection.

Become familiar with Lifehacker, WikiHow, and other DIY (Do It Yourself) sites. Also look into home-brewed shampoos, beauty products, cleaning products. Green environment sites often have cost saving benefits too.

Weigh what you are spending and where you can cut. For example, we thought we could save money by taking our recycling to a drop off point verses paying to have it picked up. This was true until gas prices started to rise. Now the cost of curb pick up seems blissfully cheap compared to taking it ourselves. Plus we no longer have to store it longer than two weeks at a time.

Save up your errands to run all together. Or, alternatively, run them on the way to or from work or school. For one item stops, pass your cash to someone else that is going if they will pick up that one thing for you.

Be careful buying in bulk. Many manufacturers have caught on to the bulk craze and you may not be saving as much as you think. The same is true for some thrift stores. Tip: thrift stores in upscale strip malls are often more expensive than the same store and item in a more economically stressed neighborhood.

Sign up for e-mail lists from your favorite retailers. Decide if handfuls of useless e-mails are worth the occasional one with that can’t-pass-it-up bargain. Your time is valuable; you could be doing something else with it – so choose wisely.

Check out consumer web sites, particularly big ticket items like appliances, vehicles, etc… In a pinch, look at Amazon.com for the product and read the reviews.  Consumer Reports is the gold standard, but is subscription based, with annual and monthly options. There are plenty of free review sites out there. Read the threads, if there is a Stan or sock puppet in there, usually they will get found out.


Look for alternatives that generate equal results. For some pants, blouses and sweaters I will use Dryel, but winter coats and such need to be dry cleaned to keep them in good shape and decrease the chance that they will need to be replaced.


Learn how to mend! Basic sewing kids cost very little, and being able to replace a button, darn a small hole, or repair a loose hem can save you a lot of money, particularly if you are part of a family. (Kids clothes are particularly prone to mending needs.)

Invest in a good stain remover – it is much less expensive than replacing clothes.

Do not throw away the circulars you get in the mail. Sometimes you can find good bargains on big ticket items like HVAC maintenance and roof repair. On the other end of the budget, $1 off of brand name cereal may not seem like a lot, but if you use one every week, that can add up quick. I also advise planning grocery shopping around store sales.

Put some of your saved money away for something fun, even if you feel like you cannot afford it. Even if it is a DVD for the family to enjoy, or dinner out, find something that pays you back in enjoyment for your time and effort. Being “poor” does not equal not having modern human needs. Recreation is a part of sanity maintenance!

Now you can share your favorite tips below!

SmartAss Protips: Eyeglass Donations

This is just a quick hit, because I needed to look this up myself today.

People that wear prescription glasses sometimes have this problem - after a couple of different sets, you have a stack of glasses you will never wear again. What do you do with them? They were costly, you do not want to throw them away. You hold on to your most recent old pair, in case your current ones break - or at least I do, having run into that before! But the rest? Especially if you are part of a family of glasses-wearers, they can stack up.


Well, there are plenty of people that can use your old glasses!


There are several organizations with many, many drop off locations for your used glasses. Some also take sunglasses or non-prescription reading glasses. So if you have old glasses, give them to a organization that will get them to people that need them locally to globally.

Lions Club
One Vision
New Eyes for the Needy



I am taking our old glasses to a library in Indianapolis, as they collect for the Lion's Club and we visit our neighborhood library often. 

If you know of other places that take eyeglasses donations, please leave their information in a comment. Thank you!

SmartAss Protips: Bedrest

I wrote this on a disability discussion board, and thought it would be good to post on PatientC!

I wracked my brain to think of the things I do when I am stuck in bed, and here are a few things I remember. This tips may help you in a temporary bed rest situation, and if you think they will, feel free to use them. If you have tips of your own, please share them in the comments!

Planning - this helps me a lot, as it reminds me that bed rest will not last forever. I take my upcoming projects, write them out and plot each step. If the malady itself will screw with the project (say the project is knitting and my hands are messed up), then I include what recovery milestone I need to reach in order to complete each particular step. If I can, I may go ahead to work on the project up to the point where I cannot anymore, in anticipation of getting out of bed again.

Communicating - I try to get things out of my system. I talk with family, e-mail friends. Feel around, see who is able to get it enough to share with them and then do so. I say that with this caveat: people will surprise you. Some folks you thought would be there will flee and some that you maybe thought couldn't be bothered will come through in amazing ways. Writing works for me when I do not feel like another person is available, or I am trying to sort something out for myself first, or I am having a fit of pique.
 
Change things up - tell folks when you are up for company, if fresh faces help you at all. If I am up to making bathroom trips, I use that to my advantage and change the scenery. Sometimes I will make the morning trip and then retire on the couch. That night, when I make my last trip, I will end it in the bedroom.

Brain play - Got a book you always wanted to have time to read? Heard of a subject you always meant to research when you had the opportunity? Is there a neat but maybe useless-in-daily-life skill you wish you could develop? Video games are one of my favorites here (I less-than-three PopCap games!) and they usually take minimum to moderate mental acuity. I bought my first Xbox right before I had my tonsils removed. It was one of my best calls ever! Volunteering for phone work is a great idea! If you are a mind for it, this is a great time to work on skills like meditation, creative visualization, focus and concentration...

Ask for help - when people say "If you need anything..." let them know that you do. Even if you are not comfortable asking for something big, like babysitting, maybe you can ask for them to bring over a movie your kids have not seen, pop some microwave popcorn and turn watching TV with the kids for 90 minutes into an event! 

All my best for your speedy recovery. This sort of thing can be so much more taxing than a lot of lucky people will ever know.

SmartAss Protips: Puking

Puking, vomiting, upchucking, worshiping the porcelain alter/goddess/god, driving the toilet bus, Technicolor yawn, horking, chunder, hurling, blowing chunks, ralphing, spewing, extreme anti-peristalsis, spewing, barfing, rainbow gagging, heaving, retching...

We have a lot of names for it, and none of them are nice – because vomiting is never pleasurable (outside of say, a fetishist, but that is not the topic of this post).

Here are some handy tips for those days when food just won’t stay down. This is not your standard nausea battle guide, this is stuff that has worked for me, and may work for you! I had two pregnancies that were full of fail when it came to keeping food down, and it has come up (?!?) again as a new med had me face down on a fairly frequent basis. It took two months to fix the situation: I was hesitant to call, because the pain medication was actually working, the first time I called they assumed the problem was on the other end of my digestive tract, when the medication they prescribed for that did not work I spread out my dosage more evenly through the day and eventually found dosages/times that worked for me (and still had me at or under my allotted amount per day).

Important note: I say this again later, but I want to be clear up here -- this is my own personal advice for handling a bout of puking. If you have any questions at all about why you are sick, you should talk to your medical professional, if possible. This is not meant to be a substitute for qualified medical advice!

Let's get too it!

Put your hair back – ponytail, clips, pins, whatever. My hair is long, so it is definitely a concern when I am throwing down with the porcelain.

Have a tidy bowl – if my stomach contents are already unsteady, one sure path to a speedy exit is a disgusting toilet. So, keep it tidy or ask your partner/caretaker/aid to lend a hand here.

Protect the pretties – if you wear [edit - spelling] long necklaces, consider taking them off until you feel better, or cheat like I do: tuck them into your shirt or bra straps.

Pearly whites – always brush or at least rinse afterwards. You don’t need old food or digestive juices hanging out on your teeth. Post-puke teeth are gross anyway, and you do not need that reminder hanging around while you try to hold something down.

Find your balm – some folks swear by ginger, starches, or mint. I am a shortbread girl myself. Experiment and find what works for you. Ice cream works occasionally for me. My boyfriend swears by drinking a Coke to settle his tummy. Motion sickness pills can help, too, by the way.

Be prepared – if you feel queasy, and unsure of your ability to make it to your bathroom, there is no shame in preparing ahead of time. Keep a basin, bucket, or wastebasket handy. Think about how you want to manage afterwards: are you up to cleaning it out, or would you rather double bag line it so you can tie them up and toss them?

Listen up – pay attention to what your body tells you. Do not wait until the last minute to do what you need to do. This, coupled with the above, can help prevent a lot of accidents.

Get it over with – I have found that when I am dealing with a bout of antiperistaltic movement, sometimes it is best to just get it over with, rather than fighting it tooth and nail. Your mileage may vary.

Talk it out – if you have a partner, roommate, caregiver, aid, let them know what is going on. Do you want someone to hold your hair back, or greet you with a bottle of water when you are done? Have a conversation, and do not be ashamed of things you have little or no control over, okay? Early in my relationship with my husband we both caught a stomach bug so terrible we were both prescribed anti-nausea suppositories -- as you can guess, we worked through the awkwardness then.

Watch what you eat – keep an eye out for how things may come back up when you are chowing down. I tend to stick to soft stuff: pudding, ice cream, apple sauce, flavored oatmeal. You may want to stay away from other foods: popcorn (eck! Don’t ask!), hard chips like potato or corn, spicy foods (if it stings going down, it is going to be a bad scene when it comes back), big leafy foods can be unpleasant, avoid anything that usually upsets your stomach or is uncomfortable (spicy foods at or beyond your tolerance point).

Along these lines, if you don’t already – chew your damn food! Seriously, you should do this whether you are puking or not. Take small bites, and chew thoroughly. Do you ever watch people eat? Even when there is no time constraint, many folks eat like they are in a huge hurry. But when you are nauseated, the idea that a bite could get wedged in your nose is likely to encourage you to develop this good habit.

Water, water -- stay hydrated. Seriously, no matter how frequently you are vomiting, you must stay hydrated. Dehydration is one of the big problems with vomiting as with diarrhea. 

Knowledge is power -- if you have a condition that can be worsened by vomiting (diabetes comes to mind), make sure you know if you should do anything special to keep disaster at bay.

Doctor, doctor – it is always okay to ask your doc for advice and help with this issue. I recommend it, especially if you think that it may be a sign of illness, or intolerance to a medication. Some areas have nurses you can consult by phone. Your medical professional may recommend anything from ginger to an anti-nausea ‘script. Work with them to come up with a solution you can manage.

Have any tips? Feel free to share in the comments! Have a question? Go ahead and ask! Got an opinion? Check out the comment policy, and fire away!