No, Not All Sides Are Equal: Sexism

So the false equivalency thing is making the rounds again. That both "sides," liberal and conservative, are the same. I just have a thing about the false   equivalency. Here I am going to treat you to some material I have written about sexism on the liberal "side."


Bill Maher gets letters every time he pulls that misogynistic bullshit even though he has a long career of transgressive political stand up where, yes, the standards are a little, a little more relaxed - but not when it comes to misogyny. And, of course, his persona is an asshole (no idea of that comes from his personal life, or is on stage only). Some highlights from my own letters include things like "...if you have to point out that someone has (or is?) a vagina as an insult then you should have retired years ago, because not only are you a cad, but you aren't funny anymore, either." Or there is this: "You are blurring the line between you and them sir, stop it." And there is plenty of material about how Maher screws up on sites like Shakesville. Just because the push back does not get a lot of flashy press does not mean that it does not happen.


Ed Schultz took himself off the air for an unpaid week - he took it to MSNBC less than 24 hours after it happened, and said this is what I want to do: I am going to take an unpaid week off the air after I apologize live on my show and tell my audience what I am going to do. He was not suspended, but if they wanted to punish him further, he was open to it. That is about as much class as a human can have and still managed to screwed up in that way, I think. It did not erase what he did, but it did set a good standard for how to behave after. And effective damage control, too - that was so quick there were only rumbles of a letter writing campaign to him or MSNBC or his radio bosses before he was acting on it himself.


The left, or at least the patch of left I camp out on - is indeed consistent. Even if I otherwise like or respect a performer, politician, or other mucky muck I will loudly and enthusiastically let them know when they screw up. When it comes down to it, I and a lot of other liberal or progressive folks are harder on liberal figures because, goddammit, we expect better from them than the likes of Limbaugh. And the feminist and womanist blogs I read? They HATED defending Michelle Bachmann, Sarah Palin, Ann Coulter, Ann Romney and their ilk - but every time someone went after their gender or gender performance with some sexist garbage, they stood up and yelled about it! Just like they did for Sandra Fluke.


Both sides are not equal. And when my "side" screws up, a lot of us push back. It feels a lot like being consistent is also being invisible. I do not know what that push back seems to not get the same coverage. Maybe it is a non-story because it is expected, or it is quick, or the stories are small in scope, or it is boring.

Dear Bill Maher

Dear Bill Maher:


Fuck you.


Wait, perhaps I should explain. On your HBO series, Real Time with Bill Maher, episode 238, after your opening monologue, you conducted an interview with Dr. Drew Pinsky.


For the most part, it was the standard off-and-on funny middling self-help celebrity interview. I had some hope that this would be good stuff when Pinsky called "bullshit" right away on some of the standard thought processes regarding celebrities and addition. Even better, when you both touched on how street drugs seem to, regarding addition in general, have different, less fatal outcomes than prescription drug addition. This is not part of current common wisdom and needs more discussion and scrutiny. I thought it was useful that you two delved into why celebrity addiction deaths seem to follow a pattern regarding "downers." It was really poignant when you two mentioned that sleep is the one thing that no one, no matter what their wealth and status, can order up on demand (particularly once one has built up a resistance to  Benzodiazepines , etc...).


But you and Dr. Pinsky talked a bit about painkillers, and you went so far off the rails you crashed the train in to the station. You quoted a statistic stating that while USians are a small percent of the world population, we use 56 percent of the painkillers and asked "What is it about Americans that we cannot cope with pain?" 


Deep breath, here we go...


So just starting out you make a gross generalization (and I do mean gross) and make me wonder what the hell is wrong with you. You give that statistic without citation, and with a number of assumptions. Have you even thought about what may be contributing to that statistic? That perhaps, with our extended lifespans that people are living longer in bodies that become more and more prone to conditions that cause pain? That there are numerous conditions out there that can not be cured, used to be fatal, but now are at least partially manageable and that one of the things that needs to be managed is often pain?


What is really important here is that you are feeding a stereotype of Americans using painkillers that itself can be deadly. Chronic pain is a vicious thing that uncoils into every aspect of your life, poisoning it. It does not just harm, it kills. Chronic pain kills enjoyment. Chronic pain kills serenity. Chronic pain kills relationships. Chronic pain kills self esteem and self reliance. Chronic pain drives people to suicide.


Do you have any idea how many people I hear from that live their lives in more pain than necessary, not out of deprivation but because of the stigma of pain killers? It is all I can do to not stop right now and sob just at the thought of the needless pain that I personally know is out there this morning. I am now, right now, needlessly suffering because my current pain killer and dose is no longer effective, but I just do not want to wrestle with my health care network. I just do not have the mental and emotional stamina to face being treated like a criminal because I have the misfortune to have a body that hurts.


Mr. Maher, please quit feeding the stereotype. There is genuine suffering out there, in here, that should not exist. If nothing else, in this modern age, we ought to be able to alleviate suffering. Our willingness to do so is part of our measure as human beings. 


I will toast you, Mr. Maher, the next time I take my nearly criminalized, carefully measured and monitored, and now rapidly approaching useless pain killer dose. If you cannot speak of those in pain or chronic pain with some humanity, compassion, and education, then please do not speak of us at all.


Edit: spelling error, 2/26/12

News Of the Day 9 Feb 2012

Here are some quick news hits for you, courtesy of my various feeds, e-mails and web wanderings!


Thank - the Prop 8 Couple and congratulate them at this happy time!


Planned Parenthood Saved Me - People tell their stories of how PP impacted or even saved their lives.


Uganda Gay Death Penalty Bill Back on Table - This bill is back from 2009 and again in 2010. I swear it seems like they are waiting for the first opportunity when the world is not watching...


PSA - How to Be a Good Ally - done with solid information and a good bit of humor.


Social Security Appeals Reached New Record in 2011 - remember to appeal if your SSDI claim is denied!


HBO to Air New Film Tackling Disability Caregiving - I will not focus much on caregivers here, but this looks interesting. I will catch it if I remember!


Miss Deaf America Upset to be Unseen at Superbowl - really people? Did they not understand that she uses a visual style of communication and needs to be seen? Really?!? Petition can be found at the link.


CNN - Fire Roland Martin - Martin made a homophobic crack during the Superbowl, but claimed it was just about... soccer? Petition available if you think differently.


Get Involved - at the National Partnership for Women and Families.


Extend the Unemployment Lifeline - automatic letters courtesy the SEIU.


Find out - if your Senators and Representatives support the "Buffett Rule."