SmartAss ProTips: Your Med Backstory

I want to have some resources here for you to use if you want or need them. While writing a piece on Go Bags, I realized that I had not talked to you about putting together a basic medical summary. This is the first thing you want in a hospital/medical BugOut/BugIn bag, or any travel bag for that matter.

Nissi (a black pitt) and Lucky (a tawny Chiwowow) keeping the neighborhood safe by sniffing a suspicious tree.

We will get into what Go/BugOut/BugIn Bags are, why you may need one, and a guideline of things to consider when making one. But before that, and Go Bag or not, you should have a MedStory!

MedStory is my own term for a unofficial medical history. Anything written my you will be considered unofficial - remember, patient reporting is considered the least reliable source of information around by docs, etc - but that was before "fake news." 

Even if you are not doing the whole Go Bag thing, you should do this. Even if you are healthy, you should do this. Keep a copy in your bag, in your car... You know your life best, so keep it where you know it can easily be found in an emergency. Since this will be too big to fit in the typical wallet, a note near your ID that indicates where your history is stored could save your life or the life of someone else if you are a organ donor.

I am going to give you what I think would be useful, and you can use or change it as you see fit for you and your family. We are going to cover information personal, medical, and medicinal. If you have a suggestion to add, please comment below and we will all benefit!

When you write your medical summary, imagine the conversations you normally have with medical professionals, only this time they need to know and you are unconscious with no family or friends present. There is a lot of information to think about here. You do not need to let yourself be overwhelmed by it. Take each suggestion one at a time. 

Ideally, you will have a summary for each family member. Even if you are around for your spouse, kid, or parent experiencing medical distress, this stuff is stuff you want to just hand off and not worry about - you will have enough worries.

Start with the basics: your name, address, phone numbers should be at the top. Another very important piece of information is your emergency contacts: their names, addresses, phone numbers. Who is your next of kin? Who is authorized to receive and act on your medical information? Do you have Advanced Directives (also called DNR orders). Do you have a medical power of attorney? You should have a copy of that in here, along with a notation of the location of the original, should it be necessary. Are you an organ/blood/marrow donor or on a registery?

While the rest of your medical information is covered below, next you should list your allergies, whether you think they would be an issue or not. Example: an egg allergy could really mess you up if you are given certain vaccines. So list them all is my advice! Make a note of each allergy & severity. Iodine makes me itchy, but penicillin will kill me.

You also need to mention any conditions, illnesses, or whatnot. Some people will list psychological diagnosis, and they can be important, but others are not willing to disclose them without establishing, personally, that it is pertinent and that they feel safe doing so. Sometimes an illness can be figured out by the meds you take, but do you really want people guessing at that moment?

You also want the names, addresses, and phone numbers of any health care practitioners you are currently seeing or have seen recently (last couple of years). If you have seen a specialist, you will always get asked why you saw them, so list that too (example: saw a pediatric gastroenterologist for stomach pain that resolved on its own or a physical therapist for SI joint dysfunction that improved with a completed course of PT). 

Now you need to detail what you are normally putting into your body. List any over the counter (OTC) or prescription medications you take, no matter how innocuous it may seem to you. If you take ibuprofen for occasional headaches, they say so. Please keep in mind that many prescription medications are used for more than one application, so list the reason you are taking it. Also list any herbal or homeopathic intake. 

I want to say if you are taking anything illegal, you should put it here because sometimes your docs really do need to know, but you have to make that call for yourself. 

So that is a good start. I will update this article as experiences or conversations make me wiser. If you have a tip, let us know below! I am considering making a Google form or something, what do you think?

In SmartAss News: Homophobia Is Bigotry

So it is time to address some of the fallout and questions I have seen about the President's recent evolution. Let us start with a working definition of homophobia:

"In a 1998 address, author, activist, and civil rights leader Coretta Scott King stated that "Homophobia is like racism and anti-Semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity and personhood."

The President's announcement is pretty historic (although certainly not a complete pass to equality) because when a sitting President comes out for the civil rights of a group, the country always, always follows. This is what has a lot of bigots tied up in knots. The arc of the universe bends towards justice, not their own preference, and they know it.

The trouble with homophobia is that it is still so accepted and standard in many circles that it can get hard to pin down. I am very comfortable with the above definition. 

If someone is devaluing the citizenship or humanity of someone because of orientation, or race, or ethnicity - I have no trouble calling that bigotry. I refuse to succumb to the idea that it is worse to be called on bigotry than it is to be a bigot. Now, bigotry can be motivated by ignorance or intolerance, and people's willingness to deal with or help that person may change based on that source. 

I do not remember where I learned this, but I have found it to be of infinite value. If you wonder whether or not a statement is bigoted, replace the discriminated group with any other minority group. This only works for a semantic comparison, not an experiential one, mind you.

"Lesbians should not be allowed to marry."

"Black people should not be allowed to marry."

"Jews should not be allowed to marry."

"Mentally disabled people should not be allowed to marry."

Which one made you ask if it was really bigotry? None? Good, because they all are bigotry. Some are just still somewhat socially acceptable. Now, each group's historical experience with this struggle is different, and unique maybe even inside of that group, let alone in comparison to other groups.

Is it bigotry to say "Well, civilly I am for Marriage Equality, but on a personal/religious/cultural level I am against it?" Yes, yes, yes - that is a bigoted thing to say. Fortunately that statement at least acknowledges that their bigotry should not be law.

By avoiding those gut-reaction words like bigotry, we let people get away with things they should not. I would rather call a bigot a bigot then let one be legitimized by my lack of response or an inadequate response. (Not to offer a false choice there, but to state my perspective in total.) It should not be used lightly or in jest, and only when called for: gays should not be able to marry, women should be in the kitchen, disabled people should stay at home, affirmative action is reverse racism - that kind of stuff. You know: bigotry.

And seriously? If someone is a bigot, then my last worry is worry about offending them. My life has rough spots, but one of the benefits of being out of most loops is I rarely actually have to take crap from another human being. I can chose to do so, but rarely is it mandatory. So in most cases, I can flat out call bigotry, bigotry.

As a last note, let me say this: I am really tired of people acting like this struggle for civil rights should not be compared to their struggle for civil rights, as if one would sully the other. I have two words for you, but I am going to hold onto them. "Oh, but those people and what they want are different!" Some will not stand a comparison between suffrage/feminism and the Freedom Marches, Rides, and summers. Others will have no comparison between the black civil rights movement and marriage equality. No civil rights movement is the same as another in character, influences, changes made. No civil rights movement can stand isolated from what went before and what came after or what else was happening then. 


So why the protestation at all? I want you to think long and hard about why letting mine touch yours would be bad. Maybe you are not as enlightened or progressive as you think... But you could be.


Hey, if you are ready to really get down into it and work on it, I am right there with you. We should all be trying to be better every day. I know I am trying. Sometimes a bigoted thing with come to tongue, but I try to grab it and figure it out it's where and why before it hits someone else. If it does spill out, I own it and apologize for it (and be mortified by it) and make it a lesson to keep trying to do better. See how that works? I could never count, nor thank enough, the people that have helped me along the way. I will lend a hand when I can to attempt to meet that beautiful responsibility.

The lesson of the day: let us call a bigot a bigot, and have no shame in the naming of it.

SmartAss Commentary: Liberal Crip Goes to the Gun Show

The Indy 1500 has a terrible web page – there is very little you can do there but find out the dates of upcoming shows, sign up for a mailing list and $1 off $10 admission, and see some photos of previous shows. However, it is a decent show as far as I can tell. I had a decent time there. I want to talk about my own gun history, some of the social issues at the gun show, and the accessibility for people with disabilities.

I should probably spell a few things out here before we get started. I am a Second Amendment liberal. I believe in both state protection via police and sheriff departments and self defense. I find the arguments about the intent of the Second Amendment to be more semantic than practical. When the Bill of Rights was created, the gun was simply a tool of survival in early American culture, as in many others. Small, unfunded local defense militias depended on each member to have their own arms. They did, both for hunting and defense. So I find that if a person has a solid answer to the separation of militia and culture – that answer may well be their opinion on the matter rather than a historical fact.

I grew up around gun folks. My mom’s first husband (my adoptive dad or ADad*), her father and several of her brothers all served in the military. The first gun stories I heard were from ADad as he explained the AK scar he acquired in Vietnam. He was shot in the shoulder by a [enemy combatant – I will not use the word he used] and he returned fire, killing the man. My mother was very anti-gun. My grandfather and multiple uncles were enlisted military men. My husband was a military kid, and very comfortable with guns. My boyfriend grew up in a rural social network that was also very easy with firearms – his father was a police officer and is now a correctional officer.

I am intimidated by guns. I am also proficient in their use. I am not a pleasure shooter – you know, the folks that can relax by going to the range for an hour. I cannot get away from their purpose. When aiming at a target, all that is on my mind is why I would be doing this for real – to end the life of another living being. The moral weight and sadness of that is always on my mind if a gun is around. There is no pleasure for me in being able to put six forty-four caliber bullets in a three inch diameter circle.  I can, and do, shoot very well. I hope to never actually need to do so. I do have fun with AirSoft weapons, though – they shoot soft BB-type ammunition powered by gas or springs or batteries.

Now that you know some of my gun history, time for the gun show! (Do I kiss my wimpy biceps here? Probably not…)

Admission was $10, you received a $1 off coupon if you were on their mailing list. Security appeared heavy, but was actually very light. Police were all over the place, as security and patrons. Loaded weapons were not permitted, although we were simply asked if we had any. D had a pistol that needed the sights repaired, and he was directed by the ticket takers to a booth where his pistol was strategically fitted with plastic zip strips to prevent it from being useable. If a patron was found to be carrying a firearm without this treatment, the penalty was immediate ejection from the premises.

Recording devices were not allowed. Although that made writing this piece much more difficult, I followed the rule. Honestly, other than catching someone in the act and ejecting them, there seemed to be no other way of enforcing that rule in this day and age of cell phone cameras, PDAs, and micro cameras.

The building itself (a part of the Indiana State Fairgrounds) was perfectly accessible. Accessibility issues included florescent lights, no scent policy, lots of random noise (no, no gunfire, except on the soundtracks of some videos being shown), and no quiet areas. While some of the table-made aisles are more narrow than others they are still passable in my manual wheelchair… except when some jerk vendor decided they need to set out yet more product, and pushed out over the ends of their tables, or shoved their long gun cases 6-12 inches out into the walk way, or put up spinning displays that eat half of the available aisle space. Arg! 

TL;DR: the building and the planning covered some accessibility basics, but some of the vendors were terrible about it!

There were several areas where one could buy snacks and drinks. Two were permanent booths, and one was more of an open café - larger with displays and seating.

Not every person at the gun show is straight off of People of WalMart. Most folks are dressed in casual middle class or rural attire. The clear majority of attendants were white males. Attendants that appeared to be African American or women were not the majority, but were numerous enough to not be surprising - which may surprise some of you. Obviously disabled folks like me were numerous in chairs or scooters, and there were a comforting amount of cane-users.  A lot of families were in attendance. The vendors were overwhelmingly male, around middle-aged and white.

I have never been to a gun show that did not have some vendors peddling hate. I have spent entire gun shows feeling like I would get shot if I talked about my politics. I was really surprised at the small amount of hate on sale at this gun show. While one pro Nazi booth is too many, there was only one at the show. I saw maybe three booths with small collections of Nazi memorabilia. I sat and stared at the Nazi booth for a while, dumbfounded. This booth was shoved into a corner where it was easily avoided, we almost missed it. They had mouse pads, t-shirts, bumper stickers, jewelry and accessories.

There was a lot less First Nations appropriation than I expected from my previous experience. The generalized, white washed “Native American Aesthetic” is very popular among the survivalist, hunter, preparedness, and gun cultures. There was one booth that was using a dream catcher motif to raise money for disabled children to enjoy outdoor sports and experiences, I think.

Of course, there was a Tea Party presence, but far less than I had feared. One vendor had walls of vitriolic bumper stickers accusing President Obama of just about every thing you can imagine. Someone had passed around flyers I saw at several booths with showed a picture of the President and the First Lady saying “I’m with stupid.” There was one booth selling anti-UN pins, copies of the national and state constitutions with wild interpretations of them. I have copies of them, and may write about those booklets specifically at some point.

 

You have not really thought this stance through, have you?

(Picture description:  a small, round lapel pin or button showing the blue UN emblem, surrounded with a red circle and divided by a red line from upper right to lower left. The intended message is clearly "NO UN.")

As a liberal, all the hate, appropriation and ignorance made me feel threatened, angry, sad, and deeply uncomfortable. Parts of it were like walking back into the Bush administration, were disagreement was equated with treason and only violent, blind patriotism was an acceptable response to any slight at all. But it was much, much better than my previous experiences at gun shows. I do not think that some improvement is enough, to be sure. It does make me happy to see improvement though, and I want to encourage that improvement.

I did not patronize the hate-booths, and still felt fairly free to shop. I picked some targets for AirSoft practice, some great medical stuff (a brass mortar and pestle, glass bottles and tubes, and first aid supplies), two really well priced pieces of luggage, and some camping supplies. I did pick up some of the materials, including the more fantastic stuff to share with you. This included a flyer for an organization that is fighting for you to keep your right to .50 cartridges, an application for the Sons of Confederate Veterans (yes that is exactly what you think it is), the Indiana Citizens Volunteer Militia, advertisements for NRA courses and retreats, flyers for militaria shows, Indiana Gun Owners pamphlets, and material on the Oath Keepers…

*I have a total of three dads: my biological father, or BDad; my mother’s first husband who adopted me when I was five, ADad, and my mother’s second husband (now divorced), ExSDad (ex-step-dad). Also, my mother’s first husband remarried, so I also have a step-mom out there, SMom. Of the five, ExSDad and I have the best relationship, and he is the one I would call in an emergency.

SmartAss Protips: Eyeglass Donations

This is just a quick hit, because I needed to look this up myself today.

People that wear prescription glasses sometimes have this problem - after a couple of different sets, you have a stack of glasses you will never wear again. What do you do with them? They were costly, you do not want to throw them away. You hold on to your most recent old pair, in case your current ones break - or at least I do, having run into that before! But the rest? Especially if you are part of a family of glasses-wearers, they can stack up.


Well, there are plenty of people that can use your old glasses!


There are several organizations with many, many drop off locations for your used glasses. Some also take sunglasses or non-prescription reading glasses. So if you have old glasses, give them to a organization that will get them to people that need them locally to globally.

Lions Club
One Vision
New Eyes for the Needy



I am taking our old glasses to a library in Indianapolis, as they collect for the Lion's Club and we visit our neighborhood library often. 

If you know of other places that take eyeglasses donations, please leave their information in a comment. Thank you!

SmartAss Review: Pill Glide

Just recently I had to go pick up my prescriptions, and while I was waiting around, I saw this: Pill Glide. It was in my local CVS, available in strawberry and grape flavors. This company also produces FLAVORx Pediatric Flavoring – for making your kids’ prescription liquid medications more bearable. Pill Glide comes in a one ounce spray bottle, which advertises as being 200+ sprays (each use is two to four sprays).

This essentially functions as a flavored, sweetened pill lubricant. My theory is that you might also be distracted from the discomfort of swallowing a pill (if that does, indeed, bother you) by the terrible flavor or artificial sweetener. I have no trouble taking pills most of the time (if you do not count the simmering resentment that I must do so), but I thought this might prove of some value – to recommend to folks that do have trouble, or to have handy when I have some plague with sinus drainage.

The directions are fairly simple: “Coat with Pill Glide (2-4 sprays). Place tablet or capsule on tongue. Swallow immediately with water.”  This is not supposed to be a substitute for having a drink handy. A lot of us dry swallow when convenient, or when we either have to or go without our meds, I know. I also know that this is not a good thing, as most pills are designed to be taken with fluid. I do not know if this would help with that, but my guess would be that it would. However, if you were stuck with Pill Glide and no drink, I suspect that it would work.

Pill Glide ingredients include the following: purified water, glycerin, sorbitol, xanthan gum, neotame, natural and artificial flavors. Buffered with: sodium citrate and citric acid. Preserved with: potassium sorbate, sodium benzoate, and propylene glycol. Yes, this has caused my spell check to tremble with rage! It is a selling point that the product contains no sugar, no dyes and no drugs in and of itself.

I think that it tastes terrible, but I hate artificial flavors and sweeteners, so I can hardly be fair. Honestly, it does taste far better than some pills I have gotten stuck in my throat, or pills I had to cut and therefore tasted when taking. So you will not catching me just spraying this on my tongue for the taste of it, but if I have to cut pills up, or my throat is already sore, I may very well use Pill Glide to make up the difference.

Surprisingly, I did not feel the edges of the pill as I swallowed, which I usually do. So this throat lube may have actually made it a little easier to do. Now, this was a large ibuprofen, 800 mg. I figured that was the largest I had right now, and probably one of the more commonly used prescriptions and therefore a good landmark. And I could use it right then.

My youngest daughter, 11 years old, said that although she could still take the half pill she takes at night, it was not as bad. The next two days she asked to use it with her nightly half-pill – so I call that a thumbs up. Our 14 year old young lady said she would use it if she felt the need and she does not mind the taste. The D man said that “it tastes like strawberry Jolly Rancher,” but did not notice a difference in the actual act of pill swallowing (only very large pills bug him). Last, but not least (I think he thought he would get out of it!), my G man said that it was indeed slick, with a sickly artificial taste to it, saw no difference (and usually has no difficulty).

Considering the entire house – only one person liked the taste, but we all saw how Pill Glide could be handy if one was having difficulty swallowing pills. So our final verdict is useful, not very tasty, but still better tasting than the tastes it can cover up. So thumbs up for Pill Glide.


Pill Glide’s contact information:
FLAVORx, Inc, MD 21046
http://www.pillglide.com
http://www.facebook.com/pillglide
1.866.370.2337
support@pillglide.com

Pill Glide’s FAQ is here. I bought mine for $5.99 (I think) at CVS. I bought strawberry, but they also had grape. It is also available at Amazon, in a handful of other flavors (strawberry, orange, peach, and bubblegum). Oh, and their homepage has a “live chat” option if you have any questions, but I cannot vouch for that because I did not use it. It did pop up and beep at me, though, so I assume someone was available if I wanted to chat.

Blog note

Haha! I have broken the “Upcoming” curse. Previously, almost every time I have posted about what I have in the pipe for this blog, I end up not posting for a while. So I was nervous about doing so yesterday. And yes, I did get a car, and I am very happy about that.

SmartAss Commentary: Niaspan Commercials

Niaspan

Oh, how I loathe these commercials for Niaspan. Have you seen these? Wow, these pieces of passive-aggressive, sly, guilt-ridden pabulum are just stunning.

Here is the “brother” version. There is at least one more, but I cannot find a link for it. It is not quite as bad, but still not good. Scratch that, there are three total, and they can be found on the Niaspan homepage here.

I find these commercials to be full of coddling, wheedling, coercive, bullshit. It is hard enough to manage a chronic illness/injury/disability – we really do not need to be badgered by our friends and family. I think the idea that these are “interventions” kind of trivializes the actual purpose of an intervention, you know – giving a loved one a chance to stop and think about what they are doing to themselves and the people around them. To let them know that they are loved and supported, and that this will still be true if they try to change their lives for the better. It is usually reserved for exceptionally destructive behavior.

Take the brother commercial – the speaking brother is chastising the audience brother about the fact that he is not taking Niaspan. Never mind the facts that the brother has made the diet and lifestyle changes that are necessary for his condition. Oh, no – he isn’t doing enough because he isn’t taking this pill! What if he is already taking niacin? Or what if he has a contra-indication, like liver trouble? The speaking brother apparently does not care. He has decided what is best, and damn anything else.

The daughter commercial does not specify what other changes the audience dad has made. But she is going out on an awfully long limb for something that “might” work.

The sister commercial is mind boggling. “I know one more pill… I get it, I do,” No she does not, or she would not follow that with, “I am not taking ‘no’ for an answer.” The gall on display is stunning. Of course she knows best, how it could be any other way is beyond her grasp.

These commercials are demeaning to health care customers. They play into the all-to-common assumption that we, as individual patients, are either too stupid or too lazy to consult with our doctors, do our own research, and make our own decisions.

If you do have a friend or loved on that is dealing with cholesterol issues, it is totally okay to offer your support. As with other health issues, save your advice for when you are asked for it. No, we do not want unsolicited advice – by definition. If we wanted it, we would seek it out and ask you.

While looking for links to the commercials themselves, I found some folks that despise this almost as much as I do at CommercialsIHate.

Niaspan on Wikipedia is here. (This entry is actually about Niacin. Niaspan is apparently prescription strength, time release Niacin.)

SmartAss Protips: Bedrest

I wrote this on a disability discussion board, and thought it would be good to post on PatientC!

I wracked my brain to think of the things I do when I am stuck in bed, and here are a few things I remember. This tips may help you in a temporary bed rest situation, and if you think they will, feel free to use them. If you have tips of your own, please share them in the comments!

Planning - this helps me a lot, as it reminds me that bed rest will not last forever. I take my upcoming projects, write them out and plot each step. If the malady itself will screw with the project (say the project is knitting and my hands are messed up), then I include what recovery milestone I need to reach in order to complete each particular step. If I can, I may go ahead to work on the project up to the point where I cannot anymore, in anticipation of getting out of bed again.

Communicating - I try to get things out of my system. I talk with family, e-mail friends. Feel around, see who is able to get it enough to share with them and then do so. I say that with this caveat: people will surprise you. Some folks you thought would be there will flee and some that you maybe thought couldn't be bothered will come through in amazing ways. Writing works for me when I do not feel like another person is available, or I am trying to sort something out for myself first, or I am having a fit of pique.
 
Change things up - tell folks when you are up for company, if fresh faces help you at all. If I am up to making bathroom trips, I use that to my advantage and change the scenery. Sometimes I will make the morning trip and then retire on the couch. That night, when I make my last trip, I will end it in the bedroom.

Brain play - Got a book you always wanted to have time to read? Heard of a subject you always meant to research when you had the opportunity? Is there a neat but maybe useless-in-daily-life skill you wish you could develop? Video games are one of my favorites here (I less-than-three PopCap games!) and they usually take minimum to moderate mental acuity. I bought my first Xbox right before I had my tonsils removed. It was one of my best calls ever! Volunteering for phone work is a great idea! If you are a mind for it, this is a great time to work on skills like meditation, creative visualization, focus and concentration...

Ask for help - when people say "If you need anything..." let them know that you do. Even if you are not comfortable asking for something big, like babysitting, maybe you can ask for them to bring over a movie your kids have not seen, pop some microwave popcorn and turn watching TV with the kids for 90 minutes into an event! 

All my best for your speedy recovery. This sort of thing can be so much more taxing than a lot of lucky people will ever know.

SmartAss Protips: Puking

Puking, vomiting, upchucking, worshiping the porcelain alter/goddess/god, driving the toilet bus, Technicolor yawn, horking, chunder, hurling, blowing chunks, ralphing, spewing, extreme anti-peristalsis, spewing, barfing, rainbow gagging, heaving, retching...

We have a lot of names for it, and none of them are nice – because vomiting is never pleasurable (outside of say, a fetishist, but that is not the topic of this post).

Here are some handy tips for those days when food just won’t stay down. This is not your standard nausea battle guide, this is stuff that has worked for me, and may work for you! I had two pregnancies that were full of fail when it came to keeping food down, and it has come up (?!?) again as a new med had me face down on a fairly frequent basis. It took two months to fix the situation: I was hesitant to call, because the pain medication was actually working, the first time I called they assumed the problem was on the other end of my digestive tract, when the medication they prescribed for that did not work I spread out my dosage more evenly through the day and eventually found dosages/times that worked for me (and still had me at or under my allotted amount per day).

Important note: I say this again later, but I want to be clear up here -- this is my own personal advice for handling a bout of puking. If you have any questions at all about why you are sick, you should talk to your medical professional, if possible. This is not meant to be a substitute for qualified medical advice!

Let's get too it!

Put your hair back – ponytail, clips, pins, whatever. My hair is long, so it is definitely a concern when I am throwing down with the porcelain.

Have a tidy bowl – if my stomach contents are already unsteady, one sure path to a speedy exit is a disgusting toilet. So, keep it tidy or ask your partner/caretaker/aid to lend a hand here.

Protect the pretties – if you wear [edit - spelling] long necklaces, consider taking them off until you feel better, or cheat like I do: tuck them into your shirt or bra straps.

Pearly whites – always brush or at least rinse afterwards. You don’t need old food or digestive juices hanging out on your teeth. Post-puke teeth are gross anyway, and you do not need that reminder hanging around while you try to hold something down.

Find your balm – some folks swear by ginger, starches, or mint. I am a shortbread girl myself. Experiment and find what works for you. Ice cream works occasionally for me. My boyfriend swears by drinking a Coke to settle his tummy. Motion sickness pills can help, too, by the way.

Be prepared – if you feel queasy, and unsure of your ability to make it to your bathroom, there is no shame in preparing ahead of time. Keep a basin, bucket, or wastebasket handy. Think about how you want to manage afterwards: are you up to cleaning it out, or would you rather double bag line it so you can tie them up and toss them?

Listen up – pay attention to what your body tells you. Do not wait until the last minute to do what you need to do. This, coupled with the above, can help prevent a lot of accidents.

Get it over with – I have found that when I am dealing with a bout of antiperistaltic movement, sometimes it is best to just get it over with, rather than fighting it tooth and nail. Your mileage may vary.

Talk it out – if you have a partner, roommate, caregiver, aid, let them know what is going on. Do you want someone to hold your hair back, or greet you with a bottle of water when you are done? Have a conversation, and do not be ashamed of things you have little or no control over, okay? Early in my relationship with my husband we both caught a stomach bug so terrible we were both prescribed anti-nausea suppositories -- as you can guess, we worked through the awkwardness then.

Watch what you eat – keep an eye out for how things may come back up when you are chowing down. I tend to stick to soft stuff: pudding, ice cream, apple sauce, flavored oatmeal. You may want to stay away from other foods: popcorn (eck! Don’t ask!), hard chips like potato or corn, spicy foods (if it stings going down, it is going to be a bad scene when it comes back), big leafy foods can be unpleasant, avoid anything that usually upsets your stomach or is uncomfortable (spicy foods at or beyond your tolerance point).

Along these lines, if you don’t already – chew your damn food! Seriously, you should do this whether you are puking or not. Take small bites, and chew thoroughly. Do you ever watch people eat? Even when there is no time constraint, many folks eat like they are in a huge hurry. But when you are nauseated, the idea that a bite could get wedged in your nose is likely to encourage you to develop this good habit.

Water, water -- stay hydrated. Seriously, no matter how frequently you are vomiting, you must stay hydrated. Dehydration is one of the big problems with vomiting as with diarrhea. 

Knowledge is power -- if you have a condition that can be worsened by vomiting (diabetes comes to mind), make sure you know if you should do anything special to keep disaster at bay.

Doctor, doctor – it is always okay to ask your doc for advice and help with this issue. I recommend it, especially if you think that it may be a sign of illness, or intolerance to a medication. Some areas have nurses you can consult by phone. Your medical professional may recommend anything from ginger to an anti-nausea ‘script. Work with them to come up with a solution you can manage.

Have any tips? Feel free to share in the comments! Have a question? Go ahead and ask! Got an opinion? Check out the comment policy, and fire away!

The SmartAss Guide to Wheelchair Etiquette

(Updated!)

Alright, this is going to consist of one solid concept and then variations on what to do with that concept. With the amount of faux paux, ignorance, and just straight up bad behavior I have seen myself, I feel like this is necessary. I do not believe that I should have to add a sarcasm warning to something with the words "smart ass" in the title, but there you go.

If you find yourself sputtering “But, but…” or getting angry or defensive – well, you will have to deal with that. There are guides out there that are more politic, nice, and cater to the discomfort that the able-bodied or temporarily able-bodied feel in these situations. I do not give a damn about that. You have been warned!

Main concept: a person in a wheelchair is just that – a person in a chair. Person. Chair. That is it. The corollary to that is this: do not do ridiculous shit. If you remember nothing else, remember this, and it should guide you well.

Editorial note: I often just say "wheelchair" as that is the scope of my experience. As far as I know, all this also applies to the users of scooters and power chairs. If I am mistaken, please let me know in the comments and I will happily make appropriate changes.

Now let’s talk about how that plays out in real life.