There is a really provocative graphic going around about allies lately. (I am not sure of a source to link, but it was a solid series of tweets about being a QUILTBAG ally. If you have the source, please let me know so I can credit and link, thanks!) It got me thinking about allies and ally-ship. Let me share my brain drippings with you!
I think that allies are part of the community like suburbs are part of the city. They are in the same vague area (say, disability rights) but their experiences are markedly different (by, you know, not actually being disabled) and usually less intense. They both take shit for thinking that disabled folks are full and complete people rather than drains on the system that should have been set on ice flows. One is having their own humanity questioned; while the other is just being told they are wrong, even if it is about something they deeply believe.
I do think that allies of any community should have a safe space... to themselves. They should not intrude on a core community, and most certainly not feel entitled to the core safe spaces, or the time and energy of members of the core community. They should not place themselves above or superior to their core group. But they do have needs that they can support each other to handle. Those needs are not the same as the core folks anyway. Someone being called a racial slur is experiencing something much different than I experience when called a race traitor. We may both need a hand and support, but of vastly different types. Which means that intruding on an oppressed group's safe space is not only a jerk-ass move, but would not give an actual ally what they may need, anyhow.
For anyone reading this with a raised eyebrow or proto-side-eye, I understand. Who the fuck am I, anyway?This is only based on my personal observations as a racial justice ally, an immigration/DREAM ally, an ally to the other folks in LGbt, for starters. Also, I see it a member of the QUILTBAG community, the disability community, a woman, a person of low fixed income et al... I have intersections, and I bet you do too!
Sometimes it needs to be said that being oppressed and/or being an ally of an oppressed group does not make one exempt from being an asshole. Let me emphasize that real quick: statuses of privilege or lack of it are not indications of being a good person or a bad person. Which is why I mention sincerity. Have it, get it, or get the fuck out of the way. I have been called out when I was wrong and accepted it with what grace I could muster. I have also had someone use oppressed status to power insults and social maneuvers, which I took... with less grace. If you are a minority dealing with an asshole, my advice is to walk away and make your group aware so the asshole blowback is minimized (ewww!). If you are an ally dealing with an asshole that also happens to be oppressed, go somewhere else. Do your research instead and do not assume that the whole group is made of assholes.
In oppressed communities we bristle at the idea of allies needing support from us. It is not our responsibility, true. I think that they can, and should, support each other. It should be acknowledged that allies can and do have needs and sometimes require social support to avoid burnout and continue the work, share resources, commiserate. Frequently allies do look to the core community for where to go and what to do, which is sometimes simple attention seeking behavior, but it can be a sincere request, too. If someone seems sincere when asking, say, how to get ally fellowship from my militantly bisexual self, I point them at PFLAG or something similar, or in other instances give them good terms to use to Google to get them started if I have the energy to do so for them.
So let us approach each other with mutual respect and care. I am not claiming a special insight here - most folks have an oppression and in some other way benefit from the oppression of others (even if we would rather not). We each have to decide what to do here ourselves, and respect that right even if we disagree. I will not sacrifice my own peace of mind or self care to lead someone that is ostensibly supporting me, nor should I or anyone else be expected to do so. If I can, I will. Allies are people, people trying to do right even though they could go through life not giving a damn. If I suspect sincerity, I will always at least point them in the right direction. There is not a group I belong to that could not use another good ally.
Have something to add? Read my comment policy and then start typing if you can respect it and me.
I am PatientC. Welcome! This is a disability oriented blog where issues and intersection are discussed at my whim and with varying degrees of humanity, snark, and intensity. Content can be adult at times, farcical at others.
Showing posts with label lgbtqia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lgbtqia. Show all posts
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Thank You, Mr. President
I guess you know what word is spreading like wild fire that you affirmed the personal belief that you hold regarding marriage equality. You sat down and told the world that you believe gays and lesbians should be able to marry. That is terrific! Great news! The first time in history that a sitting US President has done such a thing.
I think this is what fact based patriotism feels like. I have twinges of it during your administration: the end of Don't Ask, Don't Tell; ending defense of the Defense of Marriage Act, hell - your election!
I think this is what fact based patriotism feels like. I have twinges of it during your administration: the end of Don't Ask, Don't Tell; ending defense of the Defense of Marriage Act, hell - your election!
There are some mixed feeling out there, and I feel some of them myself: from supporting oppressive structures in your statement to OFA not lending itself to the North Carolina fight that was lost this week. These are valid, and with the Jedi 3D chess that is your campaign mechanism you had to be aware that such was the case.
I get that but here is the thing: when you, the President, comes out in favor of something like this, the country inevitably follows. And with that follows complete civil rights. I think that you, Mr. President are keenly aware of that, and just applied for the drum major position in this parade. Now, the drum major does not write the music, the drum major does not even play the music. But the marching band cannot do a damn thing without that drum major. Now we need you to do the thing you just signed up to do.
I am in a difficult position right now. I happily acknowledge all the good you have done. And yet I lament the opportunities that passed by ignored. I see you as a shining leader, and yet I have to acknowledge that you are, in fact, a politician. You are a damn good politician. And with that comes the ability to sometimes ignore moral callings that may hurt your career - all done in the name of being able to do more good down the road, of course. I see you as a pragmatic politician, not a craven one.
Given everything, I still have to say: Thank you, Mr. President.
Most sincerely,
PatientC
I get that but here is the thing: when you, the President, comes out in favor of something like this, the country inevitably follows. And with that follows complete civil rights. I think that you, Mr. President are keenly aware of that, and just applied for the drum major position in this parade. Now, the drum major does not write the music, the drum major does not even play the music. But the marching band cannot do a damn thing without that drum major. Now we need you to do the thing you just signed up to do.
I am in a difficult position right now. I happily acknowledge all the good you have done. And yet I lament the opportunities that passed by ignored. I see you as a shining leader, and yet I have to acknowledge that you are, in fact, a politician. You are a damn good politician. And with that comes the ability to sometimes ignore moral callings that may hurt your career - all done in the name of being able to do more good down the road, of course. I see you as a pragmatic politician, not a craven one.
Given everything, I still have to say: Thank you, Mr. President.
Most sincerely,
PatientC
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Dear Ann Romney
Dear Ann Romney,
Hello! Recently you have been out in the public telling folks that you understand the struggles of women. Women in America that are not you.That you love the mother that has no choice but to work. Your quote does not seem any better in context. And yet, in your national tour, you still do not understand me.
You and me, we have some things in common. We are both women in America. We both suffer the indignities of living in a culture that is still short of valuing either of us as equals. We are both mothers in a culture that does not value the work of raising our young.
We have less in common than you think.
As a disabled mother, the culture questions whether or not I can be a good mother, or should even try. Disabled women are still, to this day, sterilized against their will, or forced to give up their children for adoption. We are often forced to prove that we will be adequate mothers.
As a poor mother, I am blamed for my poverty and told I was irresponsible to even have children. And no, you cannot understand how it feels to have the water shut off as you are drawing a bath for your baby, and wondering if you should skip the bath and save the water for making formula in case you cannot get your water access back. It was not as if I decided I would be a poor mom raising poor babies. That is not how it happens. You have not ever dealt with the indignatities of seeking out help, nor then tied to hide the fact that you are getting help from everyone else. Nor have you dis-invited someone from your home because in his fevered mind it was okay to sit in your living room and rant about welfare queens!
As a white mother, you, I and our children are granted privileges by society. But are you agonizing over making sure your children truly understood the consequences of race in America? Do you deliberately live in a non-white neighborhood so your children will be better adjusted regarding race than you were? Are you constantly working with them so that they are not more white blights on this society and culture?
As the mother of daughters, it is imperative that I teach my girls how to interact with a world that is hostile to them by default. They have to know how to recognize and deal with sexism when they see it. They need to know how our culture treats rape and rape victims. Do your kids need this armor?
As a bisexual mother, I am acutely aware of the bigotry that LGBTQAI kids face in their day to day lives. Mrs. Romney, do you ever wonder if your kids are going to get beaten over who they may love? Maybe you may share a few of my concerns as a poly mother, given your church's history on marriage. Hell, often people mistake polyamory for polygamy although one is simply uncommon, the other illegal.
You do not know what it is like for the state to screw with you month to month on how much medical care, food, or straight up cash you need to live. But you will tell people that it is too much. Living off of investment dividends is not the same thing. Just stop that ignorant nonsense.
We are what we are. There is no inherent shame in being born well to do and continuing with your well to do life. When you say that your experiences parallel the experiences of others you have never even truly seen, let alone spoken to - you are lying. And there is shame in that.
I do not know you or your life, and I do not claim to know. You, however, gleefully act like you are intimately familiar with my life, and I want you to back the hell off of it.
Most sincerely,
PatientC
Hello! Recently you have been out in the public telling folks that you understand the struggles of women. Women in America that are not you.That you love the mother that has no choice but to work. Your quote does not seem any better in context. And yet, in your national tour, you still do not understand me.
You and me, we have some things in common. We are both women in America. We both suffer the indignities of living in a culture that is still short of valuing either of us as equals. We are both mothers in a culture that does not value the work of raising our young.
We have less in common than you think.
As a disabled mother, the culture questions whether or not I can be a good mother, or should even try. Disabled women are still, to this day, sterilized against their will, or forced to give up their children for adoption. We are often forced to prove that we will be adequate mothers.
As a poor mother, I am blamed for my poverty and told I was irresponsible to even have children. And no, you cannot understand how it feels to have the water shut off as you are drawing a bath for your baby, and wondering if you should skip the bath and save the water for making formula in case you cannot get your water access back. It was not as if I decided I would be a poor mom raising poor babies. That is not how it happens. You have not ever dealt with the indignatities of seeking out help, nor then tied to hide the fact that you are getting help from everyone else. Nor have you dis-invited someone from your home because in his fevered mind it was okay to sit in your living room and rant about welfare queens!
As a white mother, you, I and our children are granted privileges by society. But are you agonizing over making sure your children truly understood the consequences of race in America? Do you deliberately live in a non-white neighborhood so your children will be better adjusted regarding race than you were? Are you constantly working with them so that they are not more white blights on this society and culture?
As the mother of daughters, it is imperative that I teach my girls how to interact with a world that is hostile to them by default. They have to know how to recognize and deal with sexism when they see it. They need to know how our culture treats rape and rape victims. Do your kids need this armor?
As a bisexual mother, I am acutely aware of the bigotry that LGBTQAI kids face in their day to day lives. Mrs. Romney, do you ever wonder if your kids are going to get beaten over who they may love? Maybe you may share a few of my concerns as a poly mother, given your church's history on marriage. Hell, often people mistake polyamory for polygamy although one is simply uncommon, the other illegal.
You do not know what it is like for the state to screw with you month to month on how much medical care, food, or straight up cash you need to live. But you will tell people that it is too much. Living off of investment dividends is not the same thing. Just stop that ignorant nonsense.
We are what we are. There is no inherent shame in being born well to do and continuing with your well to do life. When you say that your experiences parallel the experiences of others you have never even truly seen, let alone spoken to - you are lying. And there is shame in that.
I do not know you or your life, and I do not claim to know. You, however, gleefully act like you are intimately familiar with my life, and I want you to back the hell off of it.
Most sincerely,
PatientC
Thursday, February 9, 2012
News Of the Day 9 Feb 2012
Here are some quick news hits for you, courtesy of my various feeds, e-mails and web wanderings!
Thank - the Prop 8 Couple and congratulate them at this happy time!
Planned Parenthood Saved Me - People tell their stories of how PP impacted or even saved their lives.
Uganda Gay Death Penalty Bill Back on Table - This bill is back from 2009 and again in 2010. I swear it seems like they are waiting for the first opportunity when the world is not watching...
PSA - How to Be a Good Ally - done with solid information and a good bit of humor.
Social Security Appeals Reached New Record in 2011 - remember to appeal if your SSDI claim is denied!
HBO to Air New Film Tackling Disability Caregiving - I will not focus much on caregivers here, but this looks interesting. I will catch it if I remember!
Miss Deaf America Upset to be Unseen at Superbowl - really people? Did they not understand that she uses a visual style of communication and needs to be seen? Really?!? Petition can be found at the link.
CNN - Fire Roland Martin - Martin made a homophobic crack during the Superbowl, but claimed it was just about... soccer? Petition available if you think differently.
Get Involved - at the National Partnership for Women and Families.
Extend the Unemployment Lifeline - automatic letters courtesy the SEIU.
Find out - if your Senators and Representatives support the "Buffett Rule."
Thank - the Prop 8 Couple and congratulate them at this happy time!
Planned Parenthood Saved Me - People tell their stories of how PP impacted or even saved their lives.
Uganda Gay Death Penalty Bill Back on Table - This bill is back from 2009 and again in 2010. I swear it seems like they are waiting for the first opportunity when the world is not watching...
PSA - How to Be a Good Ally - done with solid information and a good bit of humor.
Social Security Appeals Reached New Record in 2011 - remember to appeal if your SSDI claim is denied!
HBO to Air New Film Tackling Disability Caregiving - I will not focus much on caregivers here, but this looks interesting. I will catch it if I remember!
Miss Deaf America Upset to be Unseen at Superbowl - really people? Did they not understand that she uses a visual style of communication and needs to be seen? Really?!? Petition can be found at the link.
CNN - Fire Roland Martin - Martin made a homophobic crack during the Superbowl, but claimed it was just about... soccer? Petition available if you think differently.
Get Involved - at the National Partnership for Women and Families.
Extend the Unemployment Lifeline - automatic letters courtesy the SEIU.
Find out - if your Senators and Representatives support the "Buffett Rule."
Monday, January 16, 2012
Relaunch!
Hallo! It has been quiet some time, no? Well, the silence coming from my little corner of the Web is done. This is my official relaunch of my blog! While my silence has been due, in part, to laziness; I have also been writing a lot, and thinking even more.
What do I want PatientC to be? I want it to be a tool for making the world a better place - even if it is just a tiny bit, a teaspoon at a time. I want to talk about what is on my mind freely, without fear. I have spent no small amount of time looking at the history of social justice bloggers that have been bullied out of the Internet and talking with my family about the possibility of that sort of thing coming to our door.
I have decided that I will post about whatever is on my mind. So not every post is going to be about disability or related things or maybe even social justice.
The truth of the matter is that I am a human being, along with being a woman, being disabled, being bisexual, dealing with poverty* issues, or any number of things. So a lot of things come up in my life and in my addled brain, and I may share any of them with you at any time.
If you see a story, issue, or item of some sort, and you think I might be able to write about it in a worthwhile way, let me know.
I will be expanding my efforts to include more regular writing, some videos, and expanding my concept of what I can do and share with you.
*I am a poor person lucky enough to live as a middle class person. It is complicated.
What do I want PatientC to be? I want it to be a tool for making the world a better place - even if it is just a tiny bit, a teaspoon at a time. I want to talk about what is on my mind freely, without fear. I have spent no small amount of time looking at the history of social justice bloggers that have been bullied out of the Internet and talking with my family about the possibility of that sort of thing coming to our door.
I have decided that I will post about whatever is on my mind. So not every post is going to be about disability or related things or maybe even social justice.
- I may talk about gaming, especially video games.
- Hell, I have a stack of energy drink reviews - I could justify those as being a defense mechanism against both my internal fatigue and the fatigue produced by a couple of my medications. But I also simply like them, and like trying new ones.
- When my hands can manage it, I knit, so that may come up. This is an election year, so you can bet that I am going to talk about that.
- I may post consolidations of the days action items for you to participate in or not as you choose.
- Other social justice stuff will definitely come up. So you can expect posts on sexism, sexual orientation, race, class/poverty...
- I am studying Buddhism, so expect that to be a subject that comes up with some regularity.
The truth of the matter is that I am a human being, along with being a woman, being disabled, being bisexual, dealing with poverty* issues, or any number of things. So a lot of things come up in my life and in my addled brain, and I may share any of them with you at any time.
If you see a story, issue, or item of some sort, and you think I might be able to write about it in a worthwhile way, let me know.
I will be expanding my efforts to include more regular writing, some videos, and expanding my concept of what I can do and share with you.
*I am a poor person lucky enough to live as a middle class person. It is complicated.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
SmartAss Commentary: On Tracy Morgan
Two big posts in one day!
If you do not know the story of Tracy Morgan performing at a show and telling an audience that should his hypothetical gay son approached him in an effete manner that he would stab him to death in the neck, you can find out more here and here and here, along with your usual sources.
I have read and heard some unbelievable arguments in favor of Morgan’s tirade, and while [spelling edit] they (and some of their sources) have stunned me, I remain in #TeamThatWasStupidHatefulandWrong. One included that the Facebook author of the expose was not adhering to some standard of “objectivity.” Why should this author, upon hearing Morgan’s hate, have any obligation to be objective regarding what he heard? Why is the burden always on those knocked about to give others the benefit of the doubt? What does the injured party owe to the oppressing party?
Oh, and a flying fuck you to people that say we should be objective about things like this. Frankly, if you can remain coolly aloof and objective about issues of social justice, then you can very well fuck off. If the oppression and degradation of others does not pitch you into a seething caldron of sadness, anger, and righteous rage – then you simply do not care enough to matter to me.
The most interesting part to me is that the argument for Morgan’s free speech is to restrict the free speech of people that found his bit to be offensive. That people are infringing his right to be offensive by speaking up about being offended. Tracy Morgan has freedom of speech, but no one else can have freedom of speech regarding how he uses his? Morgan saying he'd stab his gay son - that is fine, but speaking up about the propagation of anti-LGBTQIA violence, particularly against children, well - that is just out of line and unfair?!?
Remember, constitutionally protected speech means protection from government censorship – not protection from being less marketable. Morgan the man can think and say as he likes, but Morgan, the company, which is that man on a stage making money - he is in the marketplace of ideas and his ideas were loudly rejected. You can't ride that pony to fame and fortune, and then kick it when it bucks you for being an ass.
To argue that one is “allowing” themselves to be bothered by Morgan’s stance that LGBT people should man up and quit being pussies regarding bullying and such is to argue from a position of privilege and to negate the experiences of LGBT people. It also negates the experiences of children and teenagers. One of my most proud parenting moments was when my eldest daughter came to me out of the blue and said, “Thank you for not forgetting what it is like to be a teenage girl.” You forget that young people do not have the social calluses that we develop with age and experience. You blow off the things that cause them genuine distress, because to connect with that feeling is to remember all the slights and wrongs from when you were that age and admit to being that vulnerable, that tender – all over again.
But, but, but – we are taking money out of Morgan’s pocket when we do not like what he said! YES, WE ARE AND THAT IS THE POINT. Morgan’s pockets are lined with our money – he got it by saying things we (the general public) like in the first damn place. He decided to make his living via pleasing the public. Again, this is the free market at work, the free market that has been so very, very good to Morgan. Some say that people can express their opinion, but it shameful when they do to the detriment of someone that makes their living by interacting with the self-same public - that is twisted logic. What does that even mean? We are allowed to like an entertainer’s work, but not allowed to dislike it? There is nothing coherent in that stance.
To those that say “Oh, we don’t know he said that! All we know is what one offended guy wrote!” In all of my reading about this issue, and I have done a lot – there is one thing I have not seen and that is Tracy Morgan issuing any kind of denial. No one that attended the show has claimed that the bit description was untrue. He is headed to Nashville to apologize personally.
I have seen and heard some arguments that depend on the “Equal Opportunity Offender” line of reasoning. You know, when the discrimination, hate speech, abuse, and murder of LGBTQIA and queer youth are distant, horrific memory - then it can be a joke. I am of the opinion that one can, indeed, make a joke about anything. Murder, rape, racism, anything can be a target of humor. But that humor speaks to who you are and what you believe. If your joke about rape makes rapists or would be rapists laugh – then you are being oppressive. If your joke tickles the people that work against the rape culture, then your joke is not oppressive. Joke about what you want, I am fine with that. I am also fine with learning about what you believe by the jokes you make and the people you find deserving of that laugh.
I would much rather ignorant bigots speak their mind long and loud so I am never worried that my viewing time, or my money, goes to supporting their hatred in any way. Let them shout all day, so that the rest of us may know them, make up our own minds about them, and be free to speak and act as WE choose, exercising that same freedom.
Note: Tracy Morgan’s wallet contains not one cent of mine. I am not, and have never been, a fan of his.
If you do not know the story of Tracy Morgan performing at a show and telling an audience that should his hypothetical gay son approached him in an effete manner that he would stab him to death in the neck, you can find out more here and here and here, along with your usual sources.
I have read and heard some unbelievable arguments in favor of Morgan’s tirade, and while [spelling edit] they (and some of their sources) have stunned me, I remain in #TeamThatWasStupidHatefulandWrong. One included that the Facebook author of the expose was not adhering to some standard of “objectivity.” Why should this author, upon hearing Morgan’s hate, have any obligation to be objective regarding what he heard? Why is the burden always on those knocked about to give others the benefit of the doubt? What does the injured party owe to the oppressing party?
Oh, and a flying fuck you to people that say we should be objective about things like this. Frankly, if you can remain coolly aloof and objective about issues of social justice, then you can very well fuck off. If the oppression and degradation of others does not pitch you into a seething caldron of sadness, anger, and righteous rage – then you simply do not care enough to matter to me.
The most interesting part to me is that the argument for Morgan’s free speech is to restrict the free speech of people that found his bit to be offensive. That people are infringing his right to be offensive by speaking up about being offended. Tracy Morgan has freedom of speech, but no one else can have freedom of speech regarding how he uses his? Morgan saying he'd stab his gay son - that is fine, but speaking up about the propagation of anti-LGBTQIA violence, particularly against children, well - that is just out of line and unfair?!?
Remember, constitutionally protected speech means protection from government censorship – not protection from being less marketable. Morgan the man can think and say as he likes, but Morgan, the company, which is that man on a stage making money - he is in the marketplace of ideas and his ideas were loudly rejected. You can't ride that pony to fame and fortune, and then kick it when it bucks you for being an ass.
To argue that one is “allowing” themselves to be bothered by Morgan’s stance that LGBT people should man up and quit being pussies regarding bullying and such is to argue from a position of privilege and to negate the experiences of LGBT people. It also negates the experiences of children and teenagers. One of my most proud parenting moments was when my eldest daughter came to me out of the blue and said, “Thank you for not forgetting what it is like to be a teenage girl.” You forget that young people do not have the social calluses that we develop with age and experience. You blow off the things that cause them genuine distress, because to connect with that feeling is to remember all the slights and wrongs from when you were that age and admit to being that vulnerable, that tender – all over again.
But, but, but – we are taking money out of Morgan’s pocket when we do not like what he said! YES, WE ARE AND THAT IS THE POINT. Morgan’s pockets are lined with our money – he got it by saying things we (the general public) like in the first damn place. He decided to make his living via pleasing the public. Again, this is the free market at work, the free market that has been so very, very good to Morgan. Some say that people can express their opinion, but it shameful when they do to the detriment of someone that makes their living by interacting with the self-same public - that is twisted logic. What does that even mean? We are allowed to like an entertainer’s work, but not allowed to dislike it? There is nothing coherent in that stance.
To those that say “Oh, we don’t know he said that! All we know is what one offended guy wrote!” In all of my reading about this issue, and I have done a lot – there is one thing I have not seen and that is Tracy Morgan issuing any kind of denial. No one that attended the show has claimed that the bit description was untrue. He is headed to Nashville to apologize personally.
I have seen and heard some arguments that depend on the “Equal Opportunity Offender” line of reasoning. You know, when the discrimination, hate speech, abuse, and murder of LGBTQIA and queer youth are distant, horrific memory - then it can be a joke. I am of the opinion that one can, indeed, make a joke about anything. Murder, rape, racism, anything can be a target of humor. But that humor speaks to who you are and what you believe. If your joke about rape makes rapists or would be rapists laugh – then you are being oppressive. If your joke tickles the people that work against the rape culture, then your joke is not oppressive. Joke about what you want, I am fine with that. I am also fine with learning about what you believe by the jokes you make and the people you find deserving of that laugh.
I would much rather ignorant bigots speak their mind long and loud so I am never worried that my viewing time, or my money, goes to supporting their hatred in any way. Let them shout all day, so that the rest of us may know them, make up our own minds about them, and be free to speak and act as WE choose, exercising that same freedom.
Note: Tracy Morgan’s wallet contains not one cent of mine. I am not, and have never been, a fan of his.
SmartAss Commentary: Cripple Queers Stay Home
Note: I never thought that I would write a somewhat positive take on a gun show and a very negative experience at a Pride event, well, ever. But here I am.
So, IndyPride was the weekend of June 11th, 2011. My family and I were excited to attend. We have friends all over the LGBT, Intersex and Queer spectrum. I am bisexual, and my girls – much to my own parental pride – feel free to decide who and what they are in their own time. So my husband, my boyfriend, my girls, and I loaded up to head downtown for the Indianapolis Pride festival.
Saturday was beautiful, but hot. There was no natural protection from the sun, but we were prepared.
Parking was a nightmare – many of the downtown spots were blocked off for the event, so we found zero available handicapped parking anywhere near the festival. So D dropped us off a couple of blocks away from the singular entrance. A grassy field needed to be crossed to reach the gate – there was no smoothed path, let alone paved walkway – to use to get in. Fortunately, the folks canvassing for a fund for college to help LGBT youth were at the gate, and I donated, still fairly optimistic about the upcoming experience.
The southern end of the park has a lot of paved walk ways, but few booths. Being near the fountain provided a cool breeze for the few moments it took to pass it. Our first nightmare began as we tried to cross the dividing street (blocked from auto traffic for the event). The people running Circle City Pride apparently decided that giving the bar tents 3 extra, mostly unused feet of space was more important than allowing people to use the city’s curb cuts. They blocked off all of them on all four corners at the ends of the street. One was left on the middle of the north side. I had a complete sense-of-humor failure as I rolled between blocked off curb cuts and eventually had enough, hit my hand breaks, and had a good cry behind my sunglasses (noticed only, I think, by my family).
The north end of the park is completely inaccessible. This made me angry not only for me and the other people at the event, but in general. This is the damn Veteran’s Memorial Plaza, dammit – how on earth are disabled veterans going to navigate this hill and stair infested park?
The festival did block off the far northern paved cross-over, making those of us trying to navigate the tents and booths travel over 4-6 times more ground to get around than the TAB attendees. I spent some time parked at the north east corner, and watched other people using wheelchairs along with parents with children in wagons or strollers curse their luck as they realized they were stuck.
Many of the displays were up small curbs and arranged on dirt paths. Again, this was almost entirely inaccessible unless you have an ATV chair. We eventually were able to find our way to the one booth run by a friend where we knew we could park and rest. Without that, we would have left almost immediately.
While I sat parked, mulling over the supposed message of inclusion of Pride Day and the associated events, my husband and youngest daughter were directed by the one friendly staff member we saw to talk to an organizer. The organizer had no care at all about the issue they brought to her and directed them to speak to a nearby city cop. This… officer, and yes, I have his name, found it appropriate to tell them to suck it up or talk to the military officer in charge of the park. The fucking hell?!? He was rude, discriminatory, and dismissive. Thanks, Officer Friendly, for destroying my children’s first impression of dealing directly with a law enforcement representative. You are now their idea of what cops are like, in general. Ass.
Navigating in general was difficult, as most staff and patrons never bothered to look lower than eye level while traveling from place to place. Eventually I had no issue poking people with my cane while yelling “EXCUSE ME!” and running over the occasional toe. Maybe you will look for people shorter than your eye level next time, jerk.
So Indy Pride or Circle City Pride was a damn nightmare. Indy Pride was not inclusive. If you are a queer cripple, apparently you should stay in your closet. High on the Hill rocks, though, and was accommodating both at the booth and in their store. So, there was a positive note. That was,well, the only positive note.
So, IndyPride was the weekend of June 11th, 2011. My family and I were excited to attend. We have friends all over the LGBT, Intersex and Queer spectrum. I am bisexual, and my girls – much to my own parental pride – feel free to decide who and what they are in their own time. So my husband, my boyfriend, my girls, and I loaded up to head downtown for the Indianapolis Pride festival.
Saturday was beautiful, but hot. There was no natural protection from the sun, but we were prepared.
Parking was a nightmare – many of the downtown spots were blocked off for the event, so we found zero available handicapped parking anywhere near the festival. So D dropped us off a couple of blocks away from the singular entrance. A grassy field needed to be crossed to reach the gate – there was no smoothed path, let alone paved walkway – to use to get in. Fortunately, the folks canvassing for a fund for college to help LGBT youth were at the gate, and I donated, still fairly optimistic about the upcoming experience.
The southern end of the park has a lot of paved walk ways, but few booths. Being near the fountain provided a cool breeze for the few moments it took to pass it. Our first nightmare began as we tried to cross the dividing street (blocked from auto traffic for the event). The people running Circle City Pride apparently decided that giving the bar tents 3 extra, mostly unused feet of space was more important than allowing people to use the city’s curb cuts. They blocked off all of them on all four corners at the ends of the street. One was left on the middle of the north side. I had a complete sense-of-humor failure as I rolled between blocked off curb cuts and eventually had enough, hit my hand breaks, and had a good cry behind my sunglasses (noticed only, I think, by my family).
The north end of the park is completely inaccessible. This made me angry not only for me and the other people at the event, but in general. This is the damn Veteran’s Memorial Plaza, dammit – how on earth are disabled veterans going to navigate this hill and stair infested park?
The festival did block off the far northern paved cross-over, making those of us trying to navigate the tents and booths travel over 4-6 times more ground to get around than the TAB attendees. I spent some time parked at the north east corner, and watched other people using wheelchairs along with parents with children in wagons or strollers curse their luck as they realized they were stuck.
Many of the displays were up small curbs and arranged on dirt paths. Again, this was almost entirely inaccessible unless you have an ATV chair. We eventually were able to find our way to the one booth run by a friend where we knew we could park and rest. Without that, we would have left almost immediately.
While I sat parked, mulling over the supposed message of inclusion of Pride Day and the associated events, my husband and youngest daughter were directed by the one friendly staff member we saw to talk to an organizer. The organizer had no care at all about the issue they brought to her and directed them to speak to a nearby city cop. This… officer, and yes, I have his name, found it appropriate to tell them to suck it up or talk to the military officer in charge of the park. The fucking hell?!? He was rude, discriminatory, and dismissive. Thanks, Officer Friendly, for destroying my children’s first impression of dealing directly with a law enforcement representative. You are now their idea of what cops are like, in general. Ass.
Navigating in general was difficult, as most staff and patrons never bothered to look lower than eye level while traveling from place to place. Eventually I had no issue poking people with my cane while yelling “EXCUSE ME!” and running over the occasional toe. Maybe you will look for people shorter than your eye level next time, jerk.
So Indy Pride or Circle City Pride was a damn nightmare. Indy Pride was not inclusive. If you are a queer cripple, apparently you should stay in your closet. High on the Hill rocks, though, and was accommodating both at the booth and in their store. So, there was a positive note. That was,well, the only positive note.
Friday, July 30, 2010
In My Inbox: Ball Memorial Hospital
Indiana Equality mailed this out this morning:
A transgender woman and her partner and child are alleged to have been inhumanely treated, dehumanized and disrespected while making a visit to the emergency center of Ball Memorial Hospital in Muncie.
On July 18, 2010 the transgender citizen was coughing up a large volume of blood and was taken to the hospital by her life partner. Despite the fact that the intake personnel were shown the individual's Indiana state identification which had her female marker in clear print, she was entered into the hospital's system as a male.
The staff allegedly ridiculed the transgender person, loudly referring to her as "IT". Her life partner was apparently asked by individual staff members, with raised voices, if she was a "He-She". The patient also claims that she was quizzed about her length of time as a "Transvestite" when she clearly identified herself verbally and through official documents as a Transgender Female.
"It appears that a grave injustice may have been perpetrated against a transgender citizen of Indiana, as well as to her life partner," stated Vivian Benge, President of the Indiana Transgender Rights Advocacy Alliance.
Ms. Benge continued "This situation is particularly discomfiting as Ball Memorial is the hospital where Ball State University students go for emergency treatment. There are a number of transgender BSU students, as well as other minority students, and they should not have to fear humiliation and refusal of medical care in the emergency room."
The transgender woman is suspected to have a lung condition that may be the cause of mass bleeding and oral expulsion of blood. Yet, according to the individual, Ball Memorial Hospital refused to provide treatment, with the accompanying statement to the effect of "we do not know how to treat someone like her". This happened after a long wait to be seen by a physician.
As leaders and advocates for the protection of transgender civil rights, Indiana Transgender Rights Advocacy Alliance and Indiana Equality urge Ball Memorial Hospital to conduct a thorough investigation of these allegations.
"If the events are proven to be true, we call upon Ball Memorial Hospital to take appropriate actions with the hospital employees involved and to institute policies, procedures and staff training that will ensure that such discriminatory actions are not again perpetrated, " stated Jon Keep, President of Indiana Equality.
Click here for a copy of the letter by Indiana Transgender Rights Advocacy Alliance and Indiana Equality to Ball Memorial Hospital.
The Indiana Transgender Rights Advocacy Alliance (INTRAA) is a statewide advocacy organization working to create a society that values and protects freedom of gender expression and the right to gender self-determination for all. For more information about INTRAA, please visit the organization's website at www.intraa.org.
Organized in 2003, Indiana Equality's mission is to end sexual orientation and gender identity discrimination in Indiana. For more information about Indiana Equality, please visit the organization's website at www.indianaequality.org or call (888) 567-0750.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Queer Crips
Get to know a queer crip
Via a tweet by sesmithwrites retweeting mediadisdat. Sorry, I could not find a way to get a url for an individual tweet (I have seen it done and I will figure it out!).
The intersection of LGBTQIA (did I get that right -- it keeps changing to be more inclusive, but I fear I will botch it) and disability hits so very close to home, and it makes me feel good to see folks writing about it.
Often, it seems that while a marginalized group seeks equal rights and access, sometimes other marginalized groups within that group get set aside. Keep in mind, I speak simply of my experience and do not mean to paint all such groups with the same brush.
Note: while I would not call someone either queer or crip, I support a person's choice to self-identify that way.
Via a tweet by sesmithwrites retweeting mediadisdat. Sorry, I could not find a way to get a url for an individual tweet (I have seen it done and I will figure it out!).
The intersection of LGBTQIA (did I get that right -- it keeps changing to be more inclusive, but I fear I will botch it) and disability hits so very close to home, and it makes me feel good to see folks writing about it.
Often, it seems that while a marginalized group seeks equal rights and access, sometimes other marginalized groups within that group get set aside. Keep in mind, I speak simply of my experience and do not mean to paint all such groups with the same brush.
Note: while I would not call someone either queer or crip, I support a person's choice to self-identify that way.
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