Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Handbook for the Recently Disabled, Part I

Finding yourself recently disabled? Gimpy? Crippled? Love someone recently removed from the ranks of the TAB (temporarily able bodied)? Well, you have come to the right place, Dear Reader. Here are some practical bits of lived in situations for yours truly!

The Handbook for the Recently Disabled will show up sometimes, with a handful of bite-sized pieces of advice I wish I knew or have observed along the way. YMMV (your milage may vary), of course. I am not a medical professional in any way.

First, enjoy this picture of Lucky, a tiny, tawny chi-wowow.

First off, no one is actually allowed to call you a cripple and be seen as a reasonable adult in the US. You can call yourself whatever you want. I frequently use words like that to refer to myself because language is a tool I wield wildly.

Remember to get your disability parking! Indiana gives out both plates and tags, but you need documentation from your doctor that you need it. It comes in two flavors: 6 months and No Expy. So check with your BMV or doc to find out what you need to do if you qualify. I needed proof from my doc, so folks that think you can fake it need to know the following: faking is more complicated than parking - why bother? Not like you will get to use a special spot anyway, read on!

Third, remember when you go out of the house this hard learned lesson: there is never enough handicapped parking. The days you need it the most, those paltry places are never sufficient. No, it is not worth it to get into a conflict with a person that appears to be parked illegally - if they gave a damn they would not have parked there in the first place. You have no authority, most shops and stores will not make someone move, and you are already having a hard time getting around - do not waste your efforts on assholes.

Everything has changed. Maybe you just need a cane, maybe you can only move your eyelashes, I have no way of knowing, Dear Reader. The newly disabled, me and some of mine included, found ourselves reevaluating every movement of every day. Spoon theory sums this up incredibly well. Figure out what you must do, what you need to do, what you desire to do and prioritize as you see fit. 

Lastly for this piece: know your help. For me, help came mostly from family and a few close friends. Be honest with yourself about who you can really lean on and trust with your health, your emotional well being, and your business. Depending on your life and people, you may place a lot on a few or try to spread it out depending on the strengths of your folks or your trust. Some folks will let you down, be prepared. But be ready to be amazed, surprised, humbled, and deeply gratified, too. Folks will surprise you: users will disappear in puffs of jerk-shaped smoke, and some will leave you wondering how on earth you earned that kind of dedication and love.

Monday, April 10, 2017

No More Excuses

In the midst of all the heartache, here I am believing I have no more excuses to ignore my few, precious Dear Readers. So here I am in the midst of a post-truth, post-Trump mindset. Here are the things I am working to accomplish:

Nissi at rest. She is maybe 6 months old here, black with tuxedo like white markings. Here she is napping on the corner of a grey couch. 

  • Training the puppy is going well. She is so much smarter than I thought, so it is much more like having a toddler in the house than usual.
  • My head hurts. 
  • My teeth need attention. Professional attention. I am working on it, appointment after appointment - now I have to see a hygienist four times a year to try to save what I have left. I am starting to sometimes actually look forward to being rid of them some day. 
  • I need to write more. A lot more. These brain droppings are cluttering up the works and so I exorcise them with you.
  • My gaming will never be better than the upper echelon of mediocre, and it is only very rarely even that good.
  • Learning Spanish is slowed to a stop, but I have not given up. Thanks, Duolingo.
  • I have the fortune to discuss the nature of reality with the author of Quantum Sorcery - have you read that yet? I learn, aid, and keep the candles stocked - apprenticeship!
  • I can now draw a sad coffee cup that other people can recognize and say "nice" without appearing to bullshit me. That is kind of cool, will keep working on it.
  • My cleaning projects had unexpected progress, which is great. Our black carpets frequently get vacuumed before they turn grey from pet fur.
  • Woot! My craft room is accessible and useful again. It does need some work. It will always need some work. D valiantly offered to get a new sewing machine if I got the room right again - I will be talking about that soon.
  • I gathered all the stuff to start learning recorder, but there are too many people home all day for me to feel comfortable going back to fourth grade right now. I can read music and I played clarinet for a decade, this so not be super difficult. But thanks to my teeth (see above) I cannot play clarinet without killing my head, so recorder it is. Well, it will be once I have some private time on the regular again.

My Buddhism may be causing this existential crisis. I have not the resources to take any great practical leap: week or month long retreat. Hell, I can barely afford a new read. But I feel like I am on the burning edge of something... I am not sure if there is much difference between a leap and a fall - besides the landing.

Sometimes I feel something... precious. Dust mites in the sun glinting like diamonds, special in their transience, their worthlessness. Connection to the suffering of others, an empathy uncontrolled in reach and depth, dangerous without the rest. 

A frustration with the things I own owning me, but raised too poor to give away all that I should, let alone minimizing as I sometimes want. Once a poor person has a thing, unless we must leave it behind it is very difficult to give things up. 

An unnamable desperation to stop feeling so fucking desperate. A coming together that keeps falling apart. 

I hope you are getting by, Dear Reader. Find comfort where you can. We are regulated to the fringe again: Outlaws that have done nothing truly wrong. 

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Blog Busy-ness

As I get used to changes here and on other services since I last knew them well enough, there will be lots of blog business & changes. I want to keep you up to date on them, but will save up for posts like this maybe once a week or so when making changes.

Most importantly: this is still a safe space, and a commercial free space. 

You can reach this blog through the blogspot address or by my own url.

In the "For Your Convenience" gadget I have added "Where is PatientC" which may grow a little. 

I have removed the "Team Blackness" page, but folks that need that information can get it by contacting me if desired.

A "Profit" page was added regarding commercial contact.

The Uptweet button appears to be broken so I removed it.

The old Facebook button was broken & so removed.

I reviewed the themes, etc and decided to keep things as they are for now. I like the simple, elegant look - let my ideas stand for themselves.

Yes, I will probably keep up the snapshots with posts thing. I like it, it helps when linking to graphic oriented pages, and keeps you and me both grounded.

The Facebook page is a neglected mess, I know. That will get fixed but I felt flustered by it after everything else and it will have to wait.

If you find issues, and have a free moment, I would appreciate you passing the word along. Thanks!

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

PatientC Lives!

It may be news to you, but PatientC still lives. Yes, yet another "get blogging again" effort shows fruit, so let us get fruity!

A happy, large tuxedo "pit bull" puppy with a content PatientC.
A tuxedo "pit bull" puppy with a content, silver haired PatientC.
In recent times I have been writing again, and thinking of you, Dear Reader. I finally decided that it should be up to you whether or not you expose yourself to my various news, ideas, and brain drippings. I will share what I want to share, and you can read what you want to read. Consent is a great thing!

Some family, some Family, friends, and associates will now read this, so I have to give this caveat: while I appreciate your attention, please understand that I have to write as if you will never see this space. That does not absolve me from hurt feelings, misunderstandings or other results of us meeting here, it just means that we will have to deal with them together, if you want to deal with them at all. 

Life was in a weird place for a while: I am getting around better, sleeping better, loving more demonstrably, being there, and doing some things more. This has a lot to do with the love and support I have at home, with dealing with ailments and problems more clearly, celebrating victories honestly, and with managing the pain that interfered in every aspect of that life.

The past year saw me lose 50 lbs (because I can move again!), be there for my family (they were the ones in and out of the hospital this time, how weird!), get a dog (Nissi!), and commit myself to learning more about Buddhism even if my attendance at meditation practice has been spotty.

I intend to resume a lot of my regular features: Gimpy Gamer, Buddhism, social justice, disability, Things That Make My Life Easier, reviews, sex - most anything I can hold in my head long enough to get it to you. This means updating most of the whole damn blog, so changes ahead!