No More Excuses

In the midst of all the heartache, here I am believing I have no more excuses to ignore my few, precious Dear Readers. So here I am in the midst of a post-truth, post-Trump mindset. Here are the things I am working to accomplish:

Nissi at rest. She is maybe 6 months old here, black with tuxedo like white markings. Here she is napping on the corner of a grey couch. 

• Training the puppy is going well. She is so much smarter than I thought, so it is much more like having a toddler in the house than usual.
• My head hurts. 
• My teeth need attention. Professional attention. I am working on it, appointment after appointment - now I have to see a hygienist four times a year to try to save what I have left. I am starting to sometimes actually look forward to being rid of them some day. 
• I need to write more. A lot more. These brain droppings are cluttering up the works and so I exorcise them with you.
• My gaming will never be better than the upper echelon of mediocre, and it is only very rarely even that good.
• Learning Spanish is slowed to a stop, but I have not given up. Thanks, Duolingo.
• I have the fortune to discuss the nature of reality with the author of Quantum Sorcery - have you read that yet? I learn, aid, and keep the candles stocked - apprenticeship!
• I can now draw a sad coffee cup that other people can recognize and say "nice" without appearing to bullshit me. That is kind of cool, will keep working on it.
• My cleaning projects had unexpected progress, which is great. Our black carpets frequently get vacuumed before they turn grey from pet fur.
• Woot! My craft room is accessible and useful again. It does need some work. It will always need some work. D valiantly offered to get a new sewing machine if I got the room right again - I will be talking about that soon.
• I gathered all the stuff to start learning recorder, but there are too many people home all day for me to feel comfortable going back to fourth grade right now. I can read music and I played clarinet for a decade, this so not be super difficult. But thanks to my teeth (see above) I cannot play clarinet without killing my head, so recorder it is. Well, it will be once I have some private time on the regular again.

My Buddhism may be causing this existential crisis. I have not the resources to take any great practical leap: week or month long retreat. Hell, I can barely afford a new read. But I feel like I am on the burning edge of something... I am not sure if there is much difference between a leap and a fall - besides the landing.

Sometimes I feel something... precious. Dust mites in the sun glinting like diamonds, special in their transience, their worthlessness. Connection to the suffering of others, an empathy uncontrolled in reach and depth, dangerous without the rest. 

A frustration with the things I own owning me, but raised too poor to give away all that I should, let alone minimizing as I sometimes want. Once a poor person has a thing, unless we must leave it behind it is very difficult to give things up. 

An unnamable desperation to stop feeling so fucking desperate. A coming together that keeps falling apart. 

I hope you are getting by, Dear Reader. Find comfort where you can. We are regulated to the fringe again: Outlaws that have done nothing truly wrong. 

Microsoft's Rape Joke at E3

Women and girls should not need to play games to play games. But we do. The following post is about sexism in gaming. You do not need to have a press pass to E3 or be into MLG to understand what happened or anything, just know that it is a gaming industry conference and that this industry is particularly hot spot for sexism and gender essentialism (along with dis/ableism, racism, and most social ills that come to the mind of rage quitting troglodytes).

Earlier this week, a cheap ass rape joke was made at a Microsoft press event. 
Feminist Frequency, no stranger to sexism and frequent target of the fetid MRA crowd, was given a reminder of their tantrum tactics when she mentioned Microsoft/Xbox's lack of female protagonists. The next day FF posted some offerings that do appear to offer women out in front. I like to think that she posted it just because it was news and an interesting juxtaposition. However, the bellowing boys of the web demand (you can see it for yourself in some of the offerings in the first FF link) that should any right, proper, human behavior happen anywhere near a sexist foul up, that it be reported on as well or nay, you are only telling an unfair part of a story to forward your misandrist agenda!

Microsoft issues an apology - so those would-be non-apologists attempting to downplay this or act like it was not wrong, can have a goddamn seat.

The trouble is not just the rape joke itself. The trouble is not just that it was issued by a superiorly experienced and equipped male player to a less experienced and equipped female player. The trouble is not just that it was made in a professional environment. The trouble is not just that it was made in a public environment.  The trouble is not that behavior like this but far more terrible is ubiquitous in not just gaming but in a lot of places in US culture - so much so that complaining about this one incident is seen as hair-splitting, nit-picking, and mountain-of-molehill making. The trouble is not just the message this sends to young gamers of all/any genders.

The trouble is all of the above. 

GimpyGamer: XBoxOne and Motion Wut?

Yesterday (5/21/13) I sat my complicated self down in front of the XBox One console reveal. I am a video gamer. I am also a mom, a wife, a girlfriend, a gimp, a member of the LGBT/QUILTBAG community, a mom of someone in the QUILTBAG community, a liberal (if we must), a franchise wide Halo fan, a person at the beginning of the middle of ages, I contain multitudes but let us get to the geek!

I liked a lot of what I saw, and I gave them room to save most of the sweet game reveals for E3. There is an industry show for that coming up soon, okay. It looks like Microsoft is really taking the dive to make the XBox One the ONE CONSOLE TO RULE THEM ALL. Not the other consoles, I mean, but to RULE YOUR LIVING/FAMILY ROOM!

And it wants to get your ass moving.

Here is the thing: gaming is a great pastime for some folks with disabilities. In particular, it allows for a time of virtual/physical competition that people with mobility issues really cannot get anywhere but with video games. When a game is really engaging, really immersive, you tend to equate the physicality of your avatar/silent protagonist/franchise space marine/sprite with your own. Just watch a handful of gamers sit together and play and watch their body language, not just before and after but during play

The reveal, and the industry in general, has me worried that as we progress along the motion control future, people like me are going to get left out in the cold. It is hard enough some days just to hold a controller, why must everything be swiped and pinched and snapped in big gestures? In a big way, this is what I got into gaming to avoid. I appreciate motion sensing in general - it lets my decrepit self work with a yoga section of a fitness game and a meditation game pretty well.

I want to shoot for the big snark target and say that if gamers wanted to be physical, they would go play goddamn sports outside! But that is not, and has never been true. Exercise and adventure games are great for kids in neighborhoods where maybe their parks are not as safe as they should be, exercise games let a lot of us that would feel awkward for a whole host of reasons in a gym participate in guided exercise, and sometimes it is just good in general to get off the couch, if you can.

The mandatory motions in tablet and phone games, the movement wands and cameras with consoles, the mandatory twitch skills raiding now requires - they could all start freezing out this small contingent of geeks to which I belong: gimpy gamers. Just keep us in mind, gaming industry. Sometimes it is hard enough to work a keyboard or a controller or a wand. Let us continue to play, too. Thanks.

Have You Seen Me Lately?

Yes, I am trying to be back here more often. This is a quick note to let you I had a good time hanging out with Rodimus Prime and SayDatAgain on their show, The Black Guy Who Tips. We talked about me and disability, about being pervy and poly - it was one of the better conversations I have enjoyed lately.

You can, and should go see it here: Spreecast, iTunes. You are missing out if you do not!

I was really happy with how Rod and Karen interviewed, they have a good touch on the ebb and flow of a conversation - a lot people really struggle with that, but not these folks. They talked about the topics with curiosity, some study (wow, rare, thanks, hurrah!), and an overall respect that made me feel really comfortable for the hour we talked! I hope that they feel I respected their home turf and treated it well.

Again, I apologize for not being able to hang out after, I had to get some sleep (I had not before the show, Rod knows what I am talking about!). I listened later and it was all fun!

(I tested these links, but my cache may keep me from seeing some errors. Let me know if you have any issues!)

Gimpy Gamer: The First Three

So I nearly jumped for joy when I read this: Halo 4 Creators Introduce Lifetime Ban for Sexism. Wow, that is a hell of a step in the right direction! As a lady gamer raising girl gamers, this is such welcome news that I cannot even tell you. Here is the Gamespot article.

One of the problems with bans like this is that in order to make it work, often other paying gamers have to remove themselves from the game in order to file a report/complaint about a gamer ruining everyone's good time with sexism, racism, homophobia, or their social ill of choice. 

It is an unfair expectation of someone paying to use a service to have to take some of that paid time to essentially work for the service instead. But this is the world we live in now. Since it is silly to expect any service like Playstation or XBox Live to be able to monitor every gamer in every game at every moment of every day, we have to do our part.

I want to see a movement where those of us paying to use a service like XBox Live vow to do our part. I want us to promise that we will take the first fifteen minutes of online game time to report it when trolls are being trolls. Or, say, your first three Matchmaking games of a night - promise that you will do your part and allow your games to be interrupted while you report someone making sexist rape "jokes" in your Matchmaking. Or promise to report the first three trolls of your night.

Once your three games, three trolls, or first fifteen minutes are done, then you can sit back and enjoy your flow, unless someone is so bad, so inhuman to their fellow players that you simply have to report them no matter how good your gaming flow has been up to that point.

Gaming flow is important to gamers: once you settle in, set the real world behind you and get your head in the space of your game of choice, you want to stay there if you can. That is reasonable. I argue that if you have some homophobic bigot ranting and raving through your Big Team Battle, then your flow has already been interrupted, and taking a moment to report the troll can help keep that particular troll from messing with not only your flow, but the flow of everyone else that plays too!

So please stand with me in taking The First Three pledge. Let us make multiplayer a better place for everyone, and show that we actually care about the community we play and live in! I know that after the election is over, I will be as immersed as I can be in Halo 4, both campaign and then maybe even matchmaking with strangers (usually I only play with folks I know). I will take the First Three pledge!

GimpyGamer: Favorite Nerd Resources

I have some ideas for little articles when I am sick or busy, and this one is sharing resources I use and why I like them. Hopefully these will either be useful or at least only minimally annoying! This post is not all inclusive, feel free to bring your own perfect nerd resources and leave them in the links for all of us to share in the awesome!


Right now I have a couple of posts brewing, one all ready to go except that I do not have a good name for the thing the post is helping us make!


This post's theme is nerddom. I am a gigantic nerd about a handful of things: movies, Halo, Mass Effect, Portal, Halo, Minecraft, Bioshock, the Whedon 'Verse, and of course, Halo - to name just a few. As I write this, I am losing hours, because I needed to get caught up on several of these sites!


Movie Bob 
Movie Bob is a big nerd of both geek culture and movies, so his reviews tend to parallel our thoughts after seeing a film, so he is the perfect movie reviewer for us! (Movie Bob is my guilty secret, because I have to go to Escapist to see his stuff - see Extra Creditz for more...)


We Nerd Hard
WNH is part of the This Week in Blackness BCCo Studios media empire, and is scheduled to make a come back next week (5/23/12). They cover tech trends, new gadgets, anime, current nerd media (Game of Thrones, anyone?), and gaming. If you have not, you should check them out!


Geek Feminism
GF kicks it old school, but with the understanding that social justice can influence our whole lives, especially our nerd endeavors. You will find topics like programming and sexism, gamer geek culture and LGBTQIA equality, and general geek commentary from a humanist, social justice perspective. Geek Feminism is useful, funny and poignant.


The Digitized Ramblings of an 8bit Animal
If you like to blow on your games before you play them, then this Southern gentleman is for you! Seriously, though, he covers a lot of modern releases with a sensibility I appreciate quite a bit. The only difficulty with 8bit's site is that most of the entries are videos without transcripts.


Border House
I love this blog. This is one of the few places where a geek can go to get informed on gaming culture while knowing that each piece will have a understanding of inter-sectional life in the real world. This was the one stop place for news on FemShep, and I love them even more for it!


Go Make Me a Sandwich
GMMaS recently moved to Word Press, so the above link is the new one. Posts are not regular anymore, but the writing is a resource too good not to mention. Now the action is at Gaming As Woman. If you want to know how some marketing and writing can come across to women that game, you need go no further than this site. I highly recommend it. Look for the series about female avatars/characters and armor/dress.


Nerdgasm Noir Network
Here is special treat for you, because NNN has multiple shows: Nerdgasm Noir, Character Select, and Operation Cubicle. You can watch the NNN live if your schedule allows, and it is a great time! There are eight or nine folks bringing the awesome here, and they are well worth the time.


Extra Creditz
Extra Creditz is a video series by a trio of game culture, study and production devotees. Their motto is "Because Games Matter." Come here to explore and learn. They cover everything from game pacing and how, at it's best it mirrors other art forms that garner far more wide spread critical acclaim.


Nerdist
Nerdist used to be just Chris Hardwick, but now he has a crew of awesome! I really wish that crew was more diverse, but I think that giving Felicia Day and Harwick a chance to make that happen will pay off for us. Hardwick is a comedian, geek, and pop culture maven.


Wil Wheaton
Wheaton is a great example of someone that has been around since e-mail addresses had things like in them and took as long as snail mail. He is doing great things out here, and I think you should take a look. He is a great resource for nerd culture in general and specifically things like pop culture, gaming, and brewing.


Halo Waypoint
This is where I go to get my official Halo news. There are tons of well done fan sites, but if I start down that rabbit hole this will become a "Great Halo Sites" article, and while that would be awesome, it is not what I am trying to do right now.


ThinkGeek
This is where we go for almost all of our geek shopping needs. From some laptop peripherals to an Aperture Laboratories shower curtain, the house is full of stuff from ThinkGeek. Also, they have a bonus point program and they make it easy to spend those points. On the few occasions (over years, mind you, and purchases any time we were flush) we had a problem with a product, they were very responsive and nice while fixing it!


Jinx
If ThinkGeek does not have what I am looking for, then Jinx is my very next stop. Special mention should go to their huge amount of Minecraft gear and toys. They also have a "leveling up" system, but I have no experience with it.


Minecraft Home Design
This series, along with the Medieval Minecraft building series, are so helpful in learning how to build what you want to build rather than just what you think you can throw together before you get 'asploaded! So if this is your thing, be sure to check out Durandal of Aegis.

Gimpy Gamer: Leela

Does a meditation game really work?

I just played Deepak Chopra's Leela on an XBox 360 Kinect And I think it works.

Leela is kind of a experiment, in my view, an attempt to game-ify meditation practices. There are sections that are more active, Play, and more introspective, Reflect. Completing levels unlocks new ones, and the ones completed become deeper upon replay.


The active parts of the game focus on isolated body movements in Movements and then combined movements in Sequence. Minion One made fun of my hip wiggling, but that was alright. 

One of the only problems with the game is that if the Kinect loses track of you, the game does not recognize it. When I started Stillness I had to grab my mat and cushions, and then the game bugged a bit, losing me and not giving me control hands on the screen to choose the next section. So I bumped out and restarted the game...

The Kinect/XBox menus only intrude at the storage device menu. Otherwise the game creates and sustains a very peaceful, but focused mood. I have duplicated the menu choices here for you so you can get a good look before you decide whether or not to play. I think it is a success, and it my hope to get it out and play it a couple of times a week. 

Oh, and on a personal note: I found it easier to get the family to respect meditation time and space if I take over the living room to do it and there are visuals and sound. Something that they could see and hear that delineated a personal time and space bubble. That may have something to do with having greater success.


The game has gentle, spoken guidance from Chopra himself. There is also a female voice that is equally effective. The reminders and help are sometimes a little creepy in their prescience. By that I mean that shortly after my shoulders had started to slump at one point, I think, I heard a reminder to keep them natural and correct.


(Notes on access and ability follow below game sections.)

~~~

Main:

Play, Reflect, Options

Note: there is often a Learn option which will repeat to you whatever instructions were needed the first time through.

Play: 

Movements, Sequence, Mandala (which you can share on Facebook)

Movements:

Origin, Life, Power, Love, Harmony, Intuition, Unity

Sequence:

Basic, Foundation, Heart, Ethereal, Wholeness, Guru, Leela

Reflect:

Stillness, Oracle, Ambient

Stillness:

Guided Meditation, Breath Practice, Silent Meditation

Guided Meditation:

Begin, Flow, Energize, Open, Connect, Vision, Be

~~~


Gimpy Access: 


Obviously, a completely able bodied gamer is going to get the most out of this game. However, as long as you have some limb use you can use LeeLa. If you cannot stand, you can still enjoy and use the half of the game labeled Reflect for meditation. 


Some folks with chronic muscle/joint pain may find the Play section eases that for a short while - it does for me, at times. Although, you have to be at a certain ability level to even try to get that relief...


Controller use is limited to the standard choosing a profile and saved game destination.


The game is captioned. 


Overall, this is one of the more accessible XBox 360 Kinect games I have played.


If I have missed an access point, please let me know and I will address it as best I can!

Incoming!

So, I decided, Gentle Reader, that I have kept you in the dark too long. And the truth of the matter is sad, indeed: I keep hitting fibro/lupus fogs that have been eating away at my ability to think things through. Instead of waiting for my brain to come back, which I have been doing off and on for months, I am going to say "fuck it" and forge ahead.


But this diminishment has kept me from writing my review of the terrific How To Be Black. It has delayed my playing and review of Leela. Never mind what it has done to my personal life. Arg! I have drafts going about gun culture, about Civil Rights (TM) & civil rights. And I did actually tally up your answers to my question earlier, about what you are interesting in reading - and have started working on some of those subjects! Most of these are actual drafts that I just need to be satisfied with and publish - not pipe dream promises.


Thank you for your understanding and for sticking with me. I am sorry that the mess I am dealing with has the ability to mess up pretty much everything I am involved with or am trying to do.

Gimpy Gamer: What's New?

So I almost did not post today, because I have some sweet, sweet gaming love to start. Then I thought, what the hell, I will write a post about that!

So, there was a shipping error, and Mass Effect 3 did not arrive until today. Which is okay, I have been pretty damn sick (again, overlapping the old sick, what a joy!) so I probably lost very little good gaming time. And right now I am letting the family watch news, because the Xbox with Kincet is in the living room. 

I have loved Star Wars: The Old Republic so far. I have played several different characters through their starter zones and it is almost everything I want it to be. The only lesson they did not seem to learn from WoW is that whole not making the player deal with a bunch of different currencies. Sigh.

Minecraft seems to have been plugging ahead while I was not looking. So that will get some attention from me. Sometime soon. Maybe. Looks like we can breed kittens now or something? That looks hot. Maybe I can do this when the Menfolk want a shot at the Xbox.

There is just so much going on! I have a gaming glut, and I think I like it. I am sitting up today (progress), so I should be able to spend an hour or three on the couch after Daily Show/Colbert Report. FEMSHEP, here I come!

Gimpy Gamer

Hallo! I have several drafts I am working on, some of them thanks to you all chiming in on my Ask the Readers post. I want to take a moment to thank you folks that chimed in, I appreciate it and I am working on what you indicated that you wanted to read!


Today I want to talk about gaming. I am a Gimpy Gamer. I am a Mom Gamer. I am a Girl Gamer raising two more Girl Gamers, living with two additional guy gamers. I am sometimes a hardcore gamer, but usually a medium core gamer. I play Xbox games, I play social games. I have played tabletop RPGs, I have played LARPs. I live in Indiana, so you know I play euchre. I can play some other card games. I have played blended games like Zombies!!! I have enjoyed some really terrific ARGs. I have a set of Pirate Farkle which saw some great use during a power outage.


I have some great satisfactions and concerns about the state of gaming today, particularly as it involves politics. Gaming does not have to be political, but it often is and that is not necessarily a bad thing. I do not see any serious political message in, say, Bejeweled. (And I have played the hell out of some Bejeweled, to be sure.) But gaming can be highly political. Some political games off the top of my head: Star Wars: The Old Republic (franchise, two RPGs and an MMO), the whole Fable series, the Mass Effect franchise, and the Bioshock series.


You can play any of the games I have listed and not notice the politics, or not care - but it is in there, and goes to the very heart of some issues that sometimes games can best address. The first Fable questions the nature of heroes. The third Fable address the right to rule. The Old Republic's handling of the truly murky nature of morality shines best in the second game, and this is why it has earned a place on my imaginary shelf of Best Games Ever. Mass Effect forces the player to wrestle with the concept of "the greater good," how to serve it, and what personal sacrifices it may require.


Last night I was playing Star Wars: The Old Republic with my Menfolk and got a face full of politics written so well that it warranted repeated mentions by us. We, as our characters, had to decide what to do about a person illegally imprisoned and tortured for the crime of attending rallies and reading materials produced by a group disagreeing with the local government. We had to face a squad of soldiers that had been abandoned to die by the intergalactic government and the price they wanted that administration to pay for it's crime. Our quest line felt like a Law and Order script (ie: "torn from the day's headlines," and I mean that in a good way. It lead to a lot of discussion about those issues as they pertain to our current and most recent Presidential administration and how they handle these sorts of issues.


What I want to do with this post is start to establish not just my own interest in gaming, but to establish games themselves as worthy of further focus. My life does change how I few games: as a woman, and a person with disabilities, as a bisexual - all of these things and more are part of how I view games and influence my opinion. Lucky you, I will be sharing my opinions with you and asking you for your opinions. But while we dissect them for meaning and influence, I want us to not forget that the point is to have fun! Speaking of, I have a bit of housekeeping (both personal and literal) to do before I finally get to try out Deepak Chopra's Leela. Once I do I will share what I find here!


Have fun!

SmartAss Recommended Reading (Part Two)

Hello, again, Gentle Reader. When writing Recommended Reading, I realized that the post had become far too long and unwieldy for one entry. So I broke it off midstream and decided to make it a series of posts – which will also allow me to share sites as I find them.

All previous caveats about linkage stated in Part One still apply.

Ill Doctrine (hip hop only occasionally touches me, but) Jay Smooth is wonderful: candid, smart, and painfully genuine at times.

Tricycle – I am leaning towards Buddhism right now, but there is a large amount of work that is good general advice for living on Tricycle, no matter what your calling. And please, do not worry - while I may talk about my own learning or development, I would never push any religion on you, Dear Reader - just as I would not want one pushed on me.

While FWD/Feminists with Disabilities is no longer posting new content, there is a lot of good stuff to be found there, and I cannot recommend their archives highly enough.

The Border House and The Hathor Legacy make great geek reading, and there is always Geek Feminism. These are some of the smartest sites out there.

G4 has a lot of great stuff, particularly Sessler’s Soapbox and the MMO Report (although I do not play MMOs at the moment). I also enjoy their round-table show, Feedback. I will not recommend many truly commercial web sites, but these efforts are worth spending time on, in my opinion.

On the news front, here are the web pages for my favorite commentary shows: The Maddow Blog, and The Last Word. Of course, I occasionally check in at Mediaite for news gossip. And now we catch Countdown on CurrentTV. 

Leave your own great reads, or your own great writings in the comments section!

Crip Rage Internet Adventures

So, in April I joined an interest specific geek message board. Since it is related to gaming, the first thing (after the mandatory forum newbie/intro threads) I went looking for was disability stuff.  Here is what came of some of my interaction there. I have redacted links and whatnot because I do not hold the site owners responsible for what a handful of assholes do on their board. I do hold web site owners responsible for leaving bigoted stuff up without a least a nod to the fact that the bigotry is not acceptable.

-

There Goes the Warm Fuzzy

So I was reading a thread about handling disabilities while playing {custom game type}, and that had me feeling pretty good. Folks were honest about ability level, trading tips on helpful gear, and there was zero acrimony. Then I saw this: Abused Handicapped Permits {link redacted}.

Wow. Just wow. What the hell is wrong with people?

"Since I cannot determine your level of ability myself on one single, few second viewing you should not be parking there! Walk your fat ass!" I know that this sentiment is not restricted to this forum, or to gaming culture - that it is rampant throughout USian society. It still makes me sick every time I see it. I was really, really hoping not to see it here.

PSA for Fools: Some disabilities are "invisible." No, no one has to justify their parking tag to you. The documents have to be filled out by the patient, certified by a doc, and approved by the DMV - they are not nearly as easy to fake one's way into possession as you think. {While the specifics can vary, the generalized procedure here is a good guide-line.} I could have read Penn & Teller the riot act over their ADA episode. It was so full of ignorance as to boggle the mind. And if you have a relative with a tag, and you believe them to be able-bodied then you should take a long hard look at yourself - they probably did not want to tell you that they now belong to a group you are bigoted against. Would you do so in their place?

Oh my, the all-you-can-eat buffet of fat hatred. First off, noneyadamnbusiness. Seriously. If your disgusting, self-important curiosity must be satisfied, consider this: how on earth do you do full-body cardio from a damn wheelchair or scooter? Never mind that several conditions (and numerous medications) cause weight gain. Never mind the obvious lack of physical ability. If you must make your putrid assumptions, keep them to your damn ignorant self. Even if none of that applies, and one of my fellow 'wheelers has decided that food is one of the few unimpeded pleasures they have, then more power to them!

I say all this as a wheelchair user also at her "ideal" spot on the BMI (which is crap, anyway). Which, by the way, helps earn me the damn “WTF, lady, you aren’t disabled!” stares when I use a handicapped parking spot or my wheelchair.

There's also the ageism, which is disgusting. Old people should not drive! Hahaha! Oh, please, tell me another, won't you? Oh, oh, can you tell me a funny "old people should never have sex joke" too please? I wish you long life, so you can deal with the same bullshit discrimination.

When your TAB ass parks in one of those spots - that is abusing the privilege. With the hell you people put us through with your stairs and your clunky room transitions and your high tables and counter tops and your narrow doorways and your no ASL interpreter services and your jokes about Braille ATMs and your stupid, stupid bathrooms and your dumbass handling of  assistant animals and your disregard for the ADA and your broken elevators and your blocked handicapped parking spots and your putting your baby strollers in the wheelchair spots on buses and your I know disability when I see it attitudes - it is a wonder we put up with any of you at all.

Ahh, I see! You all built those high cabinets for job security - very clever.

The disabled are one of the fastest growing demographics on the planet - live long enough, you will likely join our ranks.

You get the whole rest of the damn world - leave us the wildly insufficient blue parking spaces and the occasional bathroom stall. The disabled are one of the fastest growing demographics on the planet. Pray you do not get old or fat or crippled and have to deal with someone like you were thirty years ago.

Heh.

Whew, that rant felt good. This was probably not the best time or place for this kind of journal entry, but there it is none-the-less.

-

So there is a bit of what comes out when I am disappointed enough, frustrated enough, and just a little angry. Yes, just a little.

SmartAss Protips: Bedrest

I wrote this on a disability discussion board, and thought it would be good to post on PatientC!

I wracked my brain to think of the things I do when I am stuck in bed, and here are a few things I remember. This tips may help you in a temporary bed rest situation, and if you think they will, feel free to use them. If you have tips of your own, please share them in the comments!

Planning - this helps me a lot, as it reminds me that bed rest will not last forever. I take my upcoming projects, write them out and plot each step. If the malady itself will screw with the project (say the project is knitting and my hands are messed up), then I include what recovery milestone I need to reach in order to complete each particular step. If I can, I may go ahead to work on the project up to the point where I cannot anymore, in anticipation of getting out of bed again.

Communicating - I try to get things out of my system. I talk with family, e-mail friends. Feel around, see who is able to get it enough to share with them and then do so. I say that with this caveat: people will surprise you. Some folks you thought would be there will flee and some that you maybe thought couldn't be bothered will come through in amazing ways. Writing works for me when I do not feel like another person is available, or I am trying to sort something out for myself first, or I am having a fit of pique.
 
Change things up - tell folks when you are up for company, if fresh faces help you at all. If I am up to making bathroom trips, I use that to my advantage and change the scenery. Sometimes I will make the morning trip and then retire on the couch. That night, when I make my last trip, I will end it in the bedroom.

Brain play - Got a book you always wanted to have time to read? Heard of a subject you always meant to research when you had the opportunity? Is there a neat but maybe useless-in-daily-life skill you wish you could develop? Video games are one of my favorites here (I less-than-three PopCap games!) and they usually take minimum to moderate mental acuity. I bought my first Xbox right before I had my tonsils removed. It was one of my best calls ever! Volunteering for phone work is a great idea! If you are a mind for it, this is a great time to work on skills like meditation, creative visualization, focus and concentration...

Ask for help - when people say "If you need anything..." let them know that you do. Even if you are not comfortable asking for something big, like babysitting, maybe you can ask for them to bring over a movie your kids have not seen, pop some microwave popcorn and turn watching TV with the kids for 90 minutes into an event! 

All my best for your speedy recovery. This sort of thing can be so much more taxing than a lot of lucky people will ever know.

Bitch on Gaming

I am working on about 22 pages of ideas for this blog, but while I am at it, I want to recommend this article on Bitch: The Games We Play: Access This. It brings up some of the same thoughts I have had about gaming, and great new ones too!

Enjoy!