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| PatientC, winter style. |
Ready to start the New Year? Well, the first month of it is almost half over already! What are you going to do with it? That is what I am asking myself, and taking stock of where my ambitions took me last year.
The smoking cessation quest is at an end. I have one or two clove cigarellos (cigarettes) a day, thanks to vaping, eCigs, lots of support, and a lot of willpower.
This blog turned four, I think. I did better than the previous years regarding getting posts up for your reading pleasure. But I am nowhere near where I want to be. I want to post at least twice a week, that is my goal again for this year. I wrote about a lot of things, and while I think it is important to show that disability is just a way of living and not life itself, I do want to get back to some basics on that front.
I finally invited Buddhism into my life in a more serious way, and that is probably one of the most wise decisions I made this past year. It feels like a natural, right direction for me. The Boyfriend and I attend regular meditation! It is the perfect event for the avoidant girl: get together with folks to sit and be quiet and well, meditate. That makes me giggle, but I am also socializing and learning. I am going to continue to travel down this path this new year.
Weight was a bother. I started the year wasting, so I spent a big part of it eating what I could, when I could, and the more filling the better. When I stopped wasting I put on more weight than I wanted. I am battling social pressures about weight and expectations about weight and disability. I need a solid weight/fitness level that will help see me though not just regular life, but my myriad illnesses/conditions/etc... With better pain management I can move about more, so I have hope that with effort I will be better able to not just manage but own my own form.
I have become a better advocate for myself when dealing with the healthcare community, but I still need some work here. It is so much easier to stand firm for my Minions (daughters) or the Husband than it is for me, and that is problematic.
Speaking of the Minions, things have been hit and miss there. One Minion is doing so much better in school, but the other is having difficulty just getting out the door to attend class. They both need help, and I feel I am just not getting them what they need. Our relationships are shifting to interacting with them as actual folks while also maintaining child/parent relations - it is confusing and frustrating when it is not exciting.
I will talk about all this and more in the upcoming year. I plan on seeing you more often, Gentle Reader!
If you follow me on various Internet over-sharing sites (micro/blogging places), then you know I am actively switching over from smoking Djarum Special Cigarellos to e-Cigarettes and mods. It is working, and although I have not completely made the switch, I am already seeing benefits and continue to pursue a complete switch over. The vaping scene can get quite confusing to folks new to it, because the scene already has a large vocabulary of slang and code. I want to help with that.
Why do this here, on a disability, politics, and pop culture site? Because I think that it is important. Because I am personally using various vaping devices, with my start in them being in an interest in better health and not dying of various smoking cancers and other ill effects. Because I think it is important. Because I think it is a scene that could greatly benefit me and other folks with disabilities. Because I think it is an especially good idea to switch particularly if you are of ill health or malfunctioning immune systems. Please understand that these points are also my own opinion and I am not a medical professional.
So here are some random eCig/Vaping words/phrases/ideas with their meanings. I plan to do some more later. This is in no particular order. Feel free to offer corrections, additions, and comments below!
eJuice - this is the center of the Vaping world: the liquid used to create the vapor inhaled by Vapers.
Frost/Ice/Cold - every eJuice labeled as being cold or cold in some way usually means that it contains mint (rare) or menthol (common) flavoring. This is just as important if you are looking to avoid it as if you want it!
Spinner - a spinner is a battery with voltage control input manipulated by a marked disk on the bottom of the battery. The marks are usually on the body, and you change the power by turning the ribbed (usual) disk to the desired mark on the body. While the marking methods can differ, this always means that voltage control is changed by that "spinning" disk.
Analog - a typical cigarette product.
Vape - to vape is to inhale the atomized vapor created by eCigs and modes. It is to eCigs as smoking is to analogs.
Vaper - an eCig user. Also: a label worn with pride and with a resistance to the status quo of nicotine delivery.
Vapor - the atomized mist created by eCigs and Mods.
Mod - a vaping device is more than a decorated battery. Sometimes the actual battery is a separate product, contained within the mod. Mods are products that have more finite control over your experience, may have digital displays, and can come in very utilitarian or highly stylized models. Mods can also refer to vaping set ups altered by DIY vapers.
As I am working on some new content, I wanted to let you know, Gentle Reader, what is going on in this crip(pled) life.
The eCig smoking reduction/cessation thing is going well. I am down to 12 cloves or less a day, from an initial 30-36 at my peak smoking. This weekend we took a road trip, which usually means a huge amount of smoking on my part, and I only smoked about 8 cigs! I am feeling good about it in general, even though some days are really frustrating.
The Minions (my daughters) are back in school. Hurrah! They are old enough that we can see their adulthood rapidly approaching. I feel like we have not done nearly enough to prepare them for life on their own.
I am unhappy with my weight and am doing what I can to get that back under control. Well, what is under my control. Last year I wasted to an alarming weight and this year I have done the opposite.
Studying Shambhala Buddhism is a deep learning experience. I have found that I give much more room for learning, for forgiveness, kindness, and gentleness to others than I have for myself over the course of my lifetime. I am facing what disability means to me personally and socially as it interacts with meditation and sometimes causes me to not participate as I would wish. Every time I feel myself close to living in the moment, I feel as if I am putting down an impossible burden of my own design. The one retreat we attended leaves me wanting to attend more but unfortunately there is no longer a regular sitting held in my city.
