Thursday, December 5, 2013

Disability and Fitness

or: How Fit Can a Cripple Get?

This year I had four goals to work on, and have made sufficient progress on two of them. So maybe I can only work on two life altering goals at a time. That is still pretty good, I think. Fitness was one that I failed miserably this year, and I cannot really afford that kind of mistake. You know?

I have successfully completed exercise programs before I was super sick, but was on the sick track and was not aware that all the little things were going to add up to big, systemic, life altering problems. It was hard, and I had failed at some before and since, but all the adults in the household were on the same workout bandwagon that one good time, and that helped a ginormous amount.

The pillars of fitness are more like spinning plates for sick folks like me. Figuring out what you need to work on can involve consulting with multiple doctors and maybe a physical/occupational therapist or two. I cannot afford to do exercises that may help one thing but make another worse. Habit is nearly impossible because one never knows when a flare is coming on, how long it will last, if a flare is coming on will activity activate it? Some flares you can still get some things done, but some flares are incapacitating. All of this can make progression nearly impossible. 

Caring about my health is a no brainer when I spend my days trying to piece together enough strands of healthiness to get by each day. I find that I am much more aware and connected to how my body is doing every day that non-sick/able-bodied folks. They seem to be able to get through a day without checking in with their bodies and their health. Hell, I have to check each day to see if I have a doctor appointment!

How do I even measure fitness in this physical miasma? Will having stronger, tones muscles give me the type of health I will need to fight my health issues as I age? Heart healthiness always sees good, but sometimes stairs wind me and bad balance days can make a simple, one story staircase a nightmare of risk and cost benefit analysis. Well, I am going to start at just trying to do something and go from there.

So, as you can see, returning to a good level of fitness is not going to be an easy task. I am doing what I can to remove obstacles I have put in my own way, like smoking and a sense of futility. But I think it is going to take a lot more than that. Getting more fit is going to be one of the things on my New Year's resolutions. Again. But I think I have a better shot at it this time. Hell, my smoking is... well, I will tell you about my smoking here soon. Last year's list is going out 2 for 4, so I call my odds pretty good, maybe even... even.