I guess you know what word is spreading like wild fire that you affirmed the personal belief that you hold regarding marriage equality. You sat down and told the world that you believe gays and lesbians should be able to marry. That is terrific! Great news! The first time in history that a sitting US President has done such a thing.
I think this is what fact based patriotism feels like. I have twinges of it during your administration: the end of Don't Ask, Don't Tell; ending defense of the Defense of Marriage Act, hell - your election!
There are some mixed feeling out there, and I feel some of them myself: from supporting oppressive structures in your statement to OFA not lending itself to the North Carolina fight that was lost this week. These are valid, and with the Jedi 3D chess that is your campaign mechanism you had to be aware that such was the case.
I get that but here is the thing: when you, the President, comes out in favor of something like this, the country inevitably follows. And with that follows complete civil rights. I think that you, Mr. President are keenly aware of that, and just applied for the drum major position in this parade. Now, the drum major does not write the music, the drum major does not even play the music. But the marching band cannot do a damn thing without that drum major. Now we need you to do the thing you just signed up to do.
I am in a difficult position right now. I happily acknowledge all the good you have done. And yet I lament the opportunities that passed by ignored. I see you as a shining leader, and yet I have to acknowledge that you are, in fact, a politician. You are a damn good politician. And with that comes the ability to sometimes ignore moral callings that may hurt your career - all done in the name of being able to do more good down the road, of course. I see you as a pragmatic politician, not a craven one.
Given everything, I still have to say: Thank you, Mr. President.
Most sincerely,
PatientC
Dear Ann Romney,
Hello! Recently you have been out in the public telling folks that you understand the struggles of women. Women in America that are not you.That you love the mother that has no choice but to work. Your quote does not seem any better in context. And yet, in your national tour, you still do not understand me.
You and me, we have some things in common. We are both women in America. We both suffer the indignities of living in a culture that is still short of valuing either of us as equals. We are both mothers in a culture that does not value the work of raising our young.
We have less in common than you think.
As a disabled mother, the culture questions whether or not I can be a good mother, or should even try. Disabled women are still, to this day, sterilized against their will, or forced to give up their children for adoption. We are often forced to prove that we will be adequate mothers.
As a poor mother, I am blamed for my poverty and told I was irresponsible to even have children. And no, you cannot understand how it feels to have the water shut off as you are drawing a bath for your baby, and wondering if you should skip the bath and save the water for making formula in case you cannot get your water access back. It was not as if I decided I would be a poor mom raising poor babies. That is not how it happens. You have not ever dealt with the indignatities of seeking out help, nor then tied to hide the fact that you are getting help from everyone else. Nor have you dis-invited someone from your home because in his fevered mind it was okay to sit in your living room and rant about welfare queens!
As a white mother, you, I and our children are granted privileges by society. But are you agonizing over making sure your children truly understood the consequences of race in America? Do you deliberately live in a non-white neighborhood so your children will be better adjusted regarding race than you were? Are you constantly working with them so that they are not more white blights on this society and culture?
As the mother of daughters, it is imperative that I teach my girls how to interact with a world that is hostile to them by default. They have to know how to recognize and deal with sexism when they see it. They need to know how our culture treats rape and rape victims. Do your kids need this armor?
As a bisexual mother, I am acutely aware of the bigotry that LGBTQAI kids face in their day to day lives. Mrs. Romney, do you ever wonder if your kids are going to get beaten over who they may love? Maybe you may share a few of my concerns as a poly mother, given your church's history on marriage. Hell, often people mistake polyamory for polygamy although one is simply uncommon, the other illegal.
You do not know what it is like for the state to screw with you month to month on how much medical care, food, or straight up cash you need to live. But you will tell people that it is too much. Living off of investment dividends is not the same thing. Just stop that ignorant nonsense.
We are what we are. There is no inherent shame in being born well to do and continuing with your well to do life. When you say that your experiences parallel the experiences of others you have never even truly seen, let alone spoken to - you are lying. And there is shame in that.
I do not know you or your life, and I do not claim to know. You, however, gleefully act like you are intimately familiar with my life, and I want you to back the hell off of it.
Most sincerely,
PatientC
This may seem random, but I was a little touched by Republican Presidential primary candidate Newt Gingrich's talk of moon bases yesterday. If you did not see Rachel Maddow's take on it, you should. Now, there are all sorts of trouble with the idea of a permanent US state Moon Base - and the next time he talks about it Newt must wear a Nehru jacket and carry a long-haired cat.
But I wonder - is this an glimpse into the real guy? Are we seeing a boy that used to doodle lunar landing modules in Literature class? Or dream of being an astronaut himself? I became politically aware in the 80's so Gingrich has always been the nightmare jumping out of the closet to me. For 80's folks, Gingrich in charge of anything is always the worst case scenario. So when I see him talking, which is all the time lately, it is the Conservatron1000 I see: he is a talking points generator, and all attack all the time monster.
Yesterday, though, I think we may have actually seen a little bit of the real human being. This is not Newt's first instance of space love. I think we are seeing a tiny, fragile, abused and emaciated boy-soul in there when he talks about this moon base. Now he seems like the little boy in the Despicable Me flashbacks, dreaming of the moon to the displeasure of his mom.
And I hate seeing that little boy-soul. Because I know that Newt and people like him never see the human being behind my political, social, philosophical, sexual, deviant beliefs. That ability or even willingness to acknowledge our shared humanity is completely one sided. There is no way that the Gingrich that wrote that language memo is going to give a damn about my humanity. So it kills me to see his.
Side note: I keep hearing the Space Sphere from Portal 2 when this subject comes up.
